Read what our participants have experienced with ayahuasca

Ceremonies with Ayahuasca in Germany: Experiences of our participants

You want to know more about our ceremonies with the healing plant ayahuasca? In the testimonials of our former participants you will get an insight into what to expect during your retreat. We would be happy if you would also like to share your experience with ayahuasca.

Review (September 2023, Shirley): “The holy plant mother keeps me safe in her leaves full of love”

Dear Christian, dear Anna and dear Annika,
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your loving company, I felt very comfortable and safe from the first moment. It was a great atmosphere, very quiet, beautifully designed rooms with garden and forest nearby, I could sleep very well and was thrilled by the great vegan food, especially the soup.

On the first evening, after a mediation and introduction round, there was a cocoa ceremony, which I really enjoyed, we danced together to the wonderful music and also did holotropic breathing. The next day there was a Rapé ceremony, which unfortunately gave me a headache, but I always find it interesting to try something new, even if it’s not the right thing for me, and it did a lot of our great group a lot of good. In the free time I went for a walk in the forest with my girlfriend and went river swimming, which was really nice and invigorating.

In the afternoon we gathered in the garden, we stood in a circle and held hands to a dreamlike music, it was very connecting. Afterwards came the eye-to-eye exercise, this challenged my social phobia a lot, it was a good exercise to reduce my fears and connected me with the other participants.

Now about my ayahuasca experience: I overcame my initial doubts and got involved with the Syrian steppe rue. To explain: my dream has been to travel to South America for years and participate in an ayahuasca ceremony in an indigenous tribe with the sacred liana, but unfortunately my life has not yet allowed this. So I was a bit sceptical whether it would be at all comparable with another plant. What helped me most, however, were Christian’s stories before the ceremony about the Syrian steppe rue and the actually much older Ayahuasca of the North, which also reminded me of my North African roots, so that in the end I was able to fully engage with it and quickly realised that it was exactly the right thing to do.

I had an absolutely magical experience, accompanied by strong visions. I communicated with the holy plant mother through my thoughts. When I opened my eyes, I saw blue lights. Once I threw up a lot, which was very liberating. The beautiful music accompanied me and the lovely Ayahuasca team gave me a feeling of security. A little insight into my experience: I saw myself as a baby in the hospital alone in the infant ward. Last year, in a shamanic treatment, I put up my inner emptiness, my soul pain and let it speak through me, where the same thing would be found. However, the realisation did not lead to any improvement of this condition, not even the root exercises and meditations. But the holy plant mother has given me exactly this feeling, which I needed when I came into the world and during my childhood to develop into a healthy adult human being. She held me, secure with her sacred leaves, I was flooded with love and warmth, my whole body was tingling. I think I felt myself for the first time. It was incredible to feel for the first time that there is someone who holds me, who is there for me, I could hardly believe it, it was so beautiful. The holy plant mother has lovingly accompanied me with this feeling and shown me in a gentle motherly caring way the themes that are important for me at the moment. First, the staircase I am running up, where the faster I go, the darker everything gets around me and I fade more and more – the deceleration. Interestingly, this is exactly what a healer told me years ago, that I would like to be at the top already, but have to accept where I am right now.

It was also about letting go of my family, which was also the result of my shamanic constellation last year. However, I was only able to fully understand this through the ayahuasca ceremony. My anxiety disorder was also deepened, or its cause, that my family, when I was not adapted enough as a child, quickly became very aggressive and violent. However, only short images were shown, I did not have to relive the traumatic experiences. The same with the traumatic experiences in my later life, the holy plant mother only wanted to show and tell me what I had already managed to do and leave behind.

After these important things were cleared up, the clear message was that I should now let go of my thoughts and give myself fully. I did that and never felt so free. It was as if I was flying through the colourful pictures and patterns, completely relaxed and empty of thoughts. I saw my body from above, it was full of blue geometric patterns that came out of it and connected into a larger pattern of infinity. This happened during a special music, my whole body vibrated during it, after that my I was no longer there, it was a beautiful dream state that eventually turned into sleep.

The next day we shared our experiences and enjoyed the last day together, I felt strongly connected to the wonderful people of my Ayahuasca group. Meanwhile a week has passed since the Ayahuasca ceremony, the stress of everyday life has caught up with me again, but even though I am often struggling, sinking into my negative spiral, I keep reminding myself that my process takes time and that I can trust the universe and that little by little everything will be solved and straightened out. When I close my eyes I can still feel the sacred plant mother holding me, it’s indescribable. For the first time after years of root mediation practice, I feel tender roots growing from my feet, a little more every day.

Moreover, on the first day at home, the message also came: Now it’s your turn, and I knew what to do, the sacred plant mother showed me everything. Finally, I can say that I can and have already recommended this Ayahuasca ceremony with the Syrian steppe rue by Christian and the wonderful Ayahuasca in Germany team to everyone. I would like to repeat this sacred ceremony, but only after some time, as I would then like to show the sacred plant mother what I have achieved in order to learn from her what is necessary for my development.

Until then I will be nourished by her love and I will be happy for all those who also have the great luck to experience a ceremony with Christian. With deepest thanks – Shirley

Review (September 2023, Verena): “The intelligence of the plant spirit”

The cocoa ceremony:
opened my heart.

The Rapé Ceremony:
let me enjoy the beauty and liveliness of the forest fully concentrated with a silent mind.
I saw in my mind’s eye a human foetus lying in fertile mother earth, connected to the earth by the umbilical cord, cared for all around.
Then I saw myself in that moment, felt myself up to my navel in the earth and my head blossoming. I was a human flower.
My deceased mother knelt before me as an angel of light. Her hand on my heart, she let love flow into it.
I let myself be nourished.
Then she put her other hand on my brother’s heart and loved him too.

The Ayahuasca Ceremony:
The rite is so strong! So ancient! Being smoked off, communicating my intention, accepting the potion with gratitude and drinking it.
Then I felt a loving and powerful energy slowly permeating me.
I flew through a long black tunnel. So fast that my eyelids trembled. Then poof… I was in a space of silence.
My energy body was cleansed from the bottom up. Energy flowed from the soles of my feet like fire deep into the earth.
My realisation: I do have deep roots, contrary to my conviction.
Slowly and systematically, the venerable medicine worked its way up my spine. I felt chakras being activated on my back.

From my head the energy then flowed powerfully into the universe.
My heart felt with all of this.

I received the phrase, “My root is the culture of meditation!” And I saw images of ancient cultures that were aware of their connection to the greater whole and nurtured nature.

My mother appeared and asked me to forgive her for committing suicide. She said she had suffered enough because of it.
I saw my father and the love in his eyes. I realised how much I loved him. I saw people from my environment and what I would like to say to them to clear up or strengthen the relationships.

I looked at the issue of my fear, insecurity and chronic tension. I saw that very many thoughts included, “… you mustn’t because it might make other people feel uncomfortable!”
“… you mustn’t because other people might see your fear or insecurity!”
I have deeply realised that it is myself who creates this prison.
I have the desire to be completely myself. “I want to be me!” And that the above beliefs are not true because they keep me from being free/being me/being real.
To be free I have to let go of my myriad rules that I have taken on and/or imposed on myself.

I have seen that a move to a flat in the countryside is necessary for me!

I have seen that I do not want to give up the relationship with the father of our children.
with the father of our children after all. The sentence came to me: “Stay with it!”

I am amazed at how precisely the plant medicine works; and I am especially impressed by the intelligence of the plant spirit. I was shown what I needed to see. If I didn’t understand, I asked and got an answer.

I surrendered to Mother Ayahuasca from the beginning. I let go of everything. As soon as I felt the slightest inner resistance, I said to myself, “You decide, I let happen. It is my honour to let you work through me.” Each time I surrendered again, the plant was able to continue working. Once it even thanked me for it. Wow.

Now, a few days after the ceremony, I feel a deep, continuous inner peace. A being carried in silent joy. My heart feels love and pain more intensely again. It feels infinitely good and is the only thing I really need:
my inner peace.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

Review (September, 2023, Ines): “Back to me”

From the first to the last minute I felt at ease, in a foreign environment with complete strangers.❤️ Thank you Christian, Anna and Anika: you are wonderful ❤️

I don’t know when was the last time I got so much love and understanding for me.

My intention to “get back to myself” came to me spontaneously on the train ride to the retreat. For years I have had the feeling of having lost myself in the stress of everyday life. I no longer knew who I really was.
Through Aya I became aware that I am too much on the outside and should rather focus on myself instead.
I have far too little self-love.
I have noticed that due to all the disappointments in the last few years, I don’t allow any love to come into my life.
I always function for everyone and I am left out.
Thanks to Aya, I have freed myself from my strings and I am no longer a puppet!!!

I am glad to have had this positive experience in my life!

Review (September 2023): “The best decision of my life”

I would like to share with you my experience of the Ayahuasca Retreat in September 2023.
I must confess that I arrived at the retreat with really severe physical aches and pains (back, head and gastrointestinal). However, I believe that these pains were so intensified because my mind was in a kind of resistance and somehow resisted what was coming. Well – when I arrived I met the great team (Christian, Anna and Anika) as well as the other group members who were taking part in the retreat that weekend and was really warmly welcomed and received by everyone.

The first thing that took place was the cocoa ceremony together with holotropic breathing. I didn’t go in with any great expectations, especially as I also had a severe headache. After the first sips of cocoa I thought, “this tastes disgusting”, but the result was a real surprise. After I stood up after breathing and moved to the great music, I felt lighter and more liberated than I had for ages on my own. It was worth it just to have made this journey. Falling asleep was a bit difficult, but once I did, I was able to sleep well without feeling any pain.

The next morning we continued with the Rapé ceremony. Anna lovingly took care to make this ceremony an event that I would not have thought possible. Again I was overwhelmed by an inner peace, balance and bliss. After this ceremony we had some time to ourselves and used it to go for a walk in the forest.

After lunch, the last meal before the ayahuasca ceremony, we had the eye-to-eye challenge in the garden, where each group and team member looked into each other’s eyes for one and a half minutes. For me, this was actually the highlight of the weekend, because I would never have thought that you can read so much in a person’s eyes, it continues to fascinate me day after day.

Last but not least, we now come to the Ayahuasca ceremony. After everyone had changed into slightly lighter clothes, we went into the ceremony room and waited for our turn to receive our Ayahuasca glass and then drink it. I was second in line and I took it with joy, but also with a fair amount of respect. It didn’t take 5 minutes before I felt like I had to go to the toilet. First my bowels started working like crazy, and then the nausea kicked in. To top it all off, I also felt my physical problems like headaches and nausea.

However, I did not want to “give up” too soon and get rid of the good medicine again, but I waited. I don’t know how much time passed, but suddenly I had visions. I don’t want to go into too much detail now, but at first I was a bit disappointed about the visions that were shown to me, because they were not the questions I would have liked to have answered. The rest of the time when there were no visions, I was actually struggling with my body and my ailments. Of course I threw up too, but in the end it was all worth it.

Even though I really suffered, I can say for myself that it was the best experience and decision of my life to participate in this retreat. Since then I have an absolute calmness and balance in me that I don’t know from myself at all. I don’t get angry about other things so quickly anymore and I don’t blow up as quickly as I used to. I also notice that the plant is still working and that I have not yet reached the end of my journey. I also know that it won’t be the last time I went to see Mama Aya, because I think all the questions I asked her that weren’t answered were not answered for me for a good reason. I just wasn’t ready for it.

So anyone who feels called by ayahuasca, I can only urge you to follow this call and embark on the journey.

With love and deepest gratitude to the great team and of course to Mama Aya! 🙏🏽❤️

Review (June 2023, Romy): “Beautiful experience”

The 3-day retreat did something very powerful in me. Since then I have been much more understanding and loving towards myself and my fellow human beings. Basically I have the feeling that I am closer to my inner self and have gained a better access to my feelings. I am very grateful for this experience.
The whole team of Ayahuasca in Germany is really wonderful! I could not have put myself in better hands. I felt super taken care of from beginning to end and all three were very attentive and always had an eye for your well-being.
I can recommend this experience with a clear conscience to anyone who is still considering. It is a unique experience that can make a huge difference. And who knows, maybe it was not the last time for me 🙂

Thank you Christian, Anika and Anna – you are wonderful!

Review (June 2023, Sybille): “Deep gratitude”

What I felt this entire weekend was love and gratitude and even now this time continues to affect me. ❤️
We were all warmly welcomed, no we were not somewhere foreign, it was like coming home. This feeling continued throughout the weekend, both with our wonderful facilitators and with the entire group.

All the plant ceremonies were done with deep respect and dignity for the energies and essence of the plants and our Mother Earth. We were gently, understandingly and with the highest level of competence guided through the interactions with the plant energies.

We were given enough time to rest, to go within ourselves, to consider our intentions.

Although Madre Aya showed me some beautiful images, I did not have the strongly illustrated visions I had hoped for. But as Christian said to us with a smile “Ayahuasca starts for you from tomorrow”. What can I say, he was right! Already on the way home I felt a great inner peace, no thoughts circling in my head, an inner contentment, an inner smile. I had asked Aya about my path and instead of showing it to me in visions, she began to pave this path right under my feet. And this is still happening today and I feel that the plant energy is still in me, gently guiding me. I don’t know where this path will lead me, but I know it will lead me to happiness and love.

I will come again, one day, if I may … and when grandmother Aya calls me to her again.

My heartfelt gratitude to everyone involved and all the big and small things the team has done for us. 🙏❤️

Review (April 2023, Michaela): “Mother Aya has opened more gates to myself!!!”

Mother Aya has taken me deeper into my process and opened more doors to myself. Have faith Mother Aya gives you what you need for your life path!

Meanwhile some weeks have passed and yet I still want to tell about my very profound and very intense experience over Easter 2023 with Mother Aya. To encourage others to embark on the journey of their lives!

Even though I found the group size of 24 people very large at the beginning, such a wonderful group spirit developed during this weekend. Every encounter, every exchange was an absolute enrichment. Some of these great people are still with me today.

Christian, Anna and Erhan gave us a very warm welcome right at the beginning and created a space of security and trust. The arrival, getting to know each other, the cocoa ceremony, the Rapé ceremony that followed the next day, the eye exercise, the meeting with Mother Aya, the accompaniment during this and the sharing the following day, together with the wonderful music, everything was very coherent and harmoniously coordinated with each other! It opened the space for this unique experience!

My intention was to find out more about my karmic connections, as I have the feeling that there are energies in me that prevent me from coming into my true power. What I experienced was very intense, both mentally and physically! Not in the form of vomiting or diarrhoea, no, I shivered strongly again and again, icy coldness alternated with the feeling of warmth and realisation. I met my wounded inner child, saw scenes that were not from this life, images that shocked me very much, images that reworked for days and weeks, until now…I could better understand through these images, some of my feelings in the NOW, understand why some things happen in the here and now.

Mother Aya has made me much more sensitive physically. For many years I was constantly going beyond my limits. Mother Aya has brought me to my knees and put me in my place. I now have no choice but to turn back on the path that is not good for me, as it immediately shows itself to me on a physical level. The next step is to dissolve the structures that have caused me to permanently go beyond my limits. But it is a huge step in the right direction!

Again and again, sometimes small and subtle things happen, there are impulses that show me ways and possibilities that take me further on my journey through life. A lecture on You Tube, a statement by a person, a scene in a film, the lyrics of a song, dreams that are now occurring more frequently.

For me, the statement of a therapist a few days ago was the key to being able to integrate the images from my experience with Aya. Sometimes the shadow sides just have to be accepted in order to make peace.

Since then, I have met more and more people who inspire me with their actions and works, who accompany me even when it is not so easy. People who take me further on the journey to myself. This is really a wonderful experience!

I THANK Mother Aya for this and all the people who have met me on this journey and will meet me in the future!

Review (April 2023, Johanna): “My courage to say NO and my new inner strength”

I am Johanna, 27 years old and decided to have my first ayahuasca experience in Germany (October 2022 that was). From the first contact I felt wonderfully taken care of.
For me it was especially crucial and beautiful that everything was prepared with so much effort and love. Not everyone has the opportunity to prepare “perfectly” for the ceremony in everyday life; and the process was designed precisely for this. Getting to know each other, so that everyone felt safe and at ease in the group, and the cocoa ceremony. This went much deeper than I thought and brought out many things. At the end, I danced around the room crying, almost silently, and was grateful to be able to be myself. The following day was filled with wonderful experiences and preparation for the upcoming ceremony.
I want to focus directly on the essentials in my experience report, otherwise it will be too long. I would also like to point out that it might be difficult to read for some people. The main theme of my ayahuasca experience was the confrontation with my sexual abuse experience as a 12-year-old girl.
For me the whole ceremony was a gigantic letting go and surrender. I repeated several times, “I am ready to see what I am meant to see.” This mantra helped me through the night. I was able to keep the nausea at bay during the first glass, but it gripped me during the second. The routine for me was that whenever I “chewed through” a subject with the sacred plant and she considered it finished, I would finish by throwing up. A direct cleansing of the energy.
This is how I ended up with my abuse memory. I was standing in a red room filled with books on every wall. The abuser was facing me and said he knew what he had done to me. I then asked what exactly. “I abused you.” For me, this statement was a very poor summary of the situation and did not even begin to include what this experience had done to my life. So I gathered all my strength and spoke, “You not only took away my innocence, you took away my joy of life, my childhood, my lust and most of all my boundaries. Most of all, my limits.” I was proud of myself for being able to say this to his face.
He came up to me and put his hand on my shoulder. A colossal outburst of anger took place inside me. An explosion of strength and the biggest boundary I could ever draw. This was too far. I would not let him do this to me and he never had the right to do this. He never has and never will. It was the biggest NO I ever said.
The picture changed and he was away from me again. Came towards me and with the concentrated strength I now had inside me, thanks to the NO, I took a step towards him. It was determined, confidently placed and a clear sign as well as a declaration of war. I am no longer the weak young girl who could not defend herself. I won’t let you abuse me any more and you don’t have any power over me. He stood still. Baffled and a little intimidated. I vaguely remember a “sorry” but I was already on my way back to my spit bucket. The plant had decided again, we are through with the subject. My rational brain wanted to question and analyse many things further, but Mother Ayahuasca gave me everything I needed. The decision for myself, the reclaiming of my power and my autonomy. Even though I thought the apology was important to me, I realised I didn’t care. I stood up for myself and that trumped everything.
The morning after, when everyone was reporting, I told 26 strangers about my abuse experience for the first time. Thanks to Christian who encouraged me that this very space was protected for me. I have never been so wonderfully caught up in my life as by all the course participants. To this day I am immensely grateful for his words of encouragement.
I recount this memory so accurately because it was a truly profound event for me. Never before have I had the strength to say NO. Never before have I known how strong I am. I was also deeply saddened because I felt how much I was still hurt by this memory.
I spent a lot of the months afterwards working through the trauma. Ayahuasca continued to be in my life. They say it starts working and sorting out before and after. It did that with me too. Within six months (three months before and three months after), my whole life changed. I let go of everything that didn’t fit.
Even though the changes weren’t always easy, I wouldn’t turn back time. I am immensely grateful for the help and support it taught me.
It was a wonderful experience and I am grateful to have had it with such an experienced and attuned team. I heartily recommend it. Everyone hears the call of the plant and when it is there, gladly follow it. I can speak from experience that it is hard, but absolutely possible and very rewarding.
Thank you Mother-Aya. Thank you dear team.
See you soon.
Johanna

Review (April 2023, Jivane): “Deep willingness to heal”

Somehow, that’s what it’s all about for me: my innermost permission to finally be allowed to heal.

I still feel this deep gratitude that brings tears to my eyes every time.

This weekend was one of the most profound experiences I have ever had.

I have received widespread shouts or rather nudges from Mama Aya several times over the last few years.
The hint that I could experience ayahuasca in Germany was then the immediate decision to do so.
That’s how I came to Christian, Erhan, Anna and Claudia.
When I arrived, it was like coming “home”.
We were lovingly welcomed and accepted with all our fears and caution.

Our group was terrific! Unbelievable HOW quickly our group spirit was created.
We have this wonderful team to thank for that.

The first evening with the cocoa ceremony was very heart opening!
It was very beautiful and easy to become/be connected with the people and the music.

The Rapé ceremony gave me a feeling of pure clarity in my mind – an incredible presence.

And in the evening we went to the Ayahuasca ceremony.
I felt a gratitude and solemnity within me that I was worthy of being allowed to take in this special plant.

However, Aya then “hit” pretty well. I had something like a “complete cleansing” with all the trimmings.

But I never had the feeling that I should have left it alone.
On the contrary, for me the cleansing was very profound!
Aya completely took away and dissolved my feelings of fear that were sitting in my stomach area/solar plexus.

And now I have to sing a huge hymn of praise to this great team (Christian, Erhan, Anna and Claudia) for once!!!!
At any time, at any moment, there was always someone ready to be by my side and help me!
And believe me, I needed a lot of help, just to get around somehow.

Now a little over a week into the Aya retreat, I am very aware, very at peace within myself, my fears, (which keep trying to dock) are gone.

So I say a huge THANK YOU to this top class team!!!!
A huge thank you to our wonderful group!!!
It was just a very special gift for me to be a part of it.

Yes, and in October I will be a “repeat offender”. I will be there again for the 5-day retreat!

Review (April 2023, Anika): “Ayahuasca – my journey to myself”

First of all, I would like to thank Christian, Erhan, Anna and Claudia again for their unbelievably great guidance and support!
I was able to experience the Ayahuasca Retreat from 7-9.4.23 – and it was perfectly organised, structured throughout, and I was completely in confidence the whole weekend. The team made sure from the very beginning that there was a group spirit, a unity, which in my opinion was completely successful.
Our group was just unbelievably great, super harmonious and everyone could be who they are without anyone being judged for it. I was able to get to know such wonderful people that I became even more aware that we are far too quick to prejudge people on the basis of brief moments, without knowing the story behind them or ever having walked in their shoes!
The individual ceremonies, whether the cacao ceremony, the rapé ceremony or the ayahuasca ceremony itself: all were perfectly coordinated and I still felt very grounded. The ayahuasca ceremony has been resonating since I left, which I am very aware of and feel super good about. A deep gratitude pervades me since then and I have never been shown so much love as I was this weekend!
Right on the Monday after, I continued my own little ceremony in the form of meditation and rapé at home and already had a great experience with myself. I was able to look at myself in the mirror for 5 mins and tell myself that I loved myself. Tears of joy came immediately and a voice asked me: Where have you been for so long? Since then I feel that I have found my connection to myself again! I have also noticed since then that I have no desire at all for processed foods at the moment. I do things more consciously and I have such a pleasant calmness inside me that I don’t let anything stress me out. I also find that when I philosophise with myself or in situations that arise, I get new insights, recognise old patterns, can break through them and, above all, can stand by myself and remain true to myself, instead of trying to please everyone else as I did before and thus betraying and hurting myself, as I have done over and over again. Now I recognise the pattern behind it, perceive my intuition much more consciously and can – and this is the most important thing – put it into practice!
I almost can’t put it all into words what the plant does to me, but one thing I can say for sure: It was the best decision of my life to go my way in the right direction! I feel very good, cleansed, grounded, connected, confident, centred, incredibly calm and just full of love.
Ayahuasca has called me and I am infinitely grateful for it!

Review (April 2023, I.S.): “I feel my emotions much stronger and I have the sceptre in my hand in my life!”

I attended the retreat 6 weeks ago.
Before that I had been going through a severe depressive episode and, contrary to my strong self-regenerative will until then, had not managed to bring myself out of it. I denied myself and all that makes me spiritually for several years and the spiral of excessive demands, dissatisfaction and self-sacrifice kept turning. Outwardly, I was still strong and self-confident, inside everything was empty and lifeless. I resigned myself until my body gave me such clear signs that I could no longer ignore them.
By chance I saw a film about the use of psychedelics in trauma therapy. Intuitively, I felt it could be something for me. I did some research and quickly found out that it was not easy to get hold of them legally in Germany. At the same time I realised that, despite my professional bias, I should go and see a therapist. What else could go wrong?
From then on, one thing led to another, everything fell into place like a jigsaw puzzle. I found an open-minded therapist who didn’t just pat me on the head, but also gave me a piece of his mind and made clear statements. And above all, he teased out of me all the things I thought I had long since successfully repressed and forgotten. However, according to his own research, he couldn’t help me with the other thing either, because I simply wasn’t “sick” enough for scientific studies in this country. But he told me about his own earlier experiences with Aya and so we came up with the idea that it could be something for me too. Through research, I came across Christian’s page on Ayahuasca in Germany and had that good feeling again. I spontaneously asked about taking part in the retreat in March and knew that it would work out despite the place on the waiting list. What can I say: that was spot on!
As Christian had announced, the Aya began to work beforehand, discreetly but noticeably. Suddenly, the previous withdrawal wasn’t too difficult and actually seemed to make sense. I was warmly welcomed and met so many great people. It felt a bit like coming home. The conversations and exchanges among like-minded people felt my tanks up again. I felt very comfortable and in good hands. And that despite simple accommodation on a thin mattress in the ceremony room (where I am usually a princess on a pea as far as my sleeping quarters are concerned;-)

Christian and his team looked after us well and were always there for us. The whole organisation was well structured, took away any worries and the process makes a lot of sense in retrospect as a gentle preparatory introduction. Even the first attempts with cocoa and rapé made it clear to me that I should continue to listen to my gut feeling about everything. And so I took Syrian tumbleweed pure, unaccompanied by Rapé, twice with plenty of time in between. No colourful pictures came, but everything that happened made sense (though the realisation comes later, little by little).
The ceremony didn’t shake me as much as some others in the group and even the breaking felt like a liberating necessity. I certainly also had the advantage of having dealt with my abysses in therapy before, so the aya worked differently in me. I also felt that it was not yet the end and that the effect would continue to unfold. What can I say?! The Christian said goodbye to me with the sentence “you are the fire”🔥 and yes, there he is again. Everyone around me notices my change, I see how good it does my family that mum can “pull out trees” again. It’s as if the energy and the Aya magic is spilling over and rubbing off on the people around me. My job, which I hated until then, suddenly feels completely different. And the secret is the change of perspective.

Suddenly I don’t see the limits, but the possibilities. Just as I do in my private life, I also feel like the main actor in my professional life again and have the sceptre in my hands. I see clearly what I can move and no longer get overly annoyed with those who don’t want to be moved. I realise that it is their decision and if they are not ready, there is no point at all.
There are other moments of course that I am sad, done and sometimes angry but it’s ok. It’s part of it and it’s nice to be able to feel these emotions “properly” again too. I am fine!

Review (March 2023, Katja): “The search for my true power”

“The search for my true power” – With this intention I arrived at the beginning of March
full of anticipation. The 2 weeks before, I had already felt that the
the spirit of the plant had docked into my system and
supported me in my fasting. – Sugar addiction- In retrospect I was aware that
I should have paid more attention to fasting to get an even more intense connection to my
connection to my BEING).

I was very warmly welcomed by Anna and Christian
and immediately felt very comfortable.

To put into words what happened to me during and basically only after the
ceremony is still difficult for me 4 weeks after the retreat.

Friday: Starting with the Cacao Ceremony was super easy for me.
I have known Mama Cacao with her loving, heart-warming energy for 1.5 years, I love raw cocoa.

On Saturday, I felt something bubbling up inside me,
I had respect, fear, I don’t know any more, the plant had called me to it,
just like the cocoa, so I wanted to go through it.

Aya immediately showed herself to me with her, I’ll call it, merciless toughness.
I was the first in the group to struggle with nausea. Fear, even
a little panic rose in me when I felt the spirit of the plant
was showing itself to me as a snake: big, threatening, unfriendly.
I had the feeling that it was angry with me for being a victim. But
I wanted to find my power.
It was sitting in the middle of my heart chakra…..
I was struggling so much with my nausea that I ignored her for the time being.

I didn’t notice the Sunday sharing clearly because I was too much in my process.
I continued to struggle with nausea and dizziness for 1 week. In
In retrospect I was also aware of why. I didn’t pay any attention to Aya
I still felt this pressure in my heart chakra, I still perceived her as
as unfriendly.
She was really waiting for me to let go of my issues and get her to help, which she did.
She was waiting for me to let go of my issues and get her help, which she did on the equinox.

Christian was a great support to me during the whole time after the retreat.
He helped me a lot with his advice and open ear.

So far there is not a day when I don’t think of Aya……it is a process that takes time.
I feel that I have arrived, that I am grounded, that I have been blessed
through Aya, who continues to live in my heart chakra (friendly :-))).

For me personally, it was the best decision I could have made.
I wouldn’t have said this on the Sunday of the retreat ….but with a few weeks’ distance
I would even say that I will drink Ayahuasca again.

I have come into a power that I did not expect at all, and which is
which grows daily.

I can only recommend to everyone: Be courageous and walk this path, listen to your inner voice
listen to your inner voice, keep the fast well and give Aya time.
You are in wonderful hands with Christian Kelly and his team.
Aho Katja

Review (March 2023, Alex): “The ceremony changed something in my life”

The ceremony changed something in my life. I had come with the
intuition of finding security.

Already through the preparations and the fasting I have gained a different perception
for my environment. Nutrition has a very big influence on
on our entire life. This was the first realisation.

The whole weekend was very warmly organised. From the welcome to the
I felt very well taken care of. Besides the
Besides the main ceremony, I especially liked the cocoa ceremony. It was my first experience with real (!) = pure, raw
cacao and have now made it a permanent part of my life.
in my life. The weekend was worth it for this experience alone.

As for the second day, I made intensive use of the time for myself and
I went into myself in nature. During the ceremony I did not understand
understood everything I saw and felt.

However, I was able to take away two more insights for myself: On the
Firstly, our own perception decides everything that happens to us in life.
happens to us. Thus, everything depends on how I evaluate my situation and what
I make of it.

The final realisation was that I already have all the certainty
to go my own way. With this realisation I left the
I left the ritual room and have been implementing this teaching ever since.

In the meantime I have quit my job as a production manager and am starting
my self-employment, which I have been putting off for 3 years.

I am hardly afraid of the future any more and I feel
carried.

In conclusion, I can say that this experience has brought me great
added value for me. Now I am curious where the journey will take me in the
journey will take me in the next few years.

Once again, thank you for your support and your very loving
care.

There will probably be a sequel to this.

Review (January 2023, Cathrin): “My awakening and self-responsibility!”

It is not at all easy for me to put my experience into words. This warm, heartfelt feeling still resonates within me a few weeks after the retreat. During the ceremony I only saw stars and was overcome by a feeling of nausea. I was almost disappointed not to have received an answer to the questions I had asked before. But already on the Monday after the weekend I felt a sense of self-responsibility and abandoned victimhood. I suddenly found it easy to perform actions that I could not manage before. On Monday evening I encountered the statement of Christian Kelly, the leader of Ayahuasca in Germany: “Ayahuasca does not tolerate a victim attitude, but promotes in you a consistent attitude of self-responsibility and your own creativity”. Zack! EXACTLY! Since then I feel like I am in a protected space that I have created for myself. Suddenly things have come into my life that make everything flow easily. Not only the sap is rising in the plants at the moment, but also more and more self-knowledge in me. I would like to thank everyone involved for their loving guidance and respectful interaction. It will not have been my last ceremony.

Review (January 2023, Natalja): “On the way to myself!”

Everyday life. What does it actually mean? As we have come to believe, it is a mixture of obligations, decisions, expectations, disappointments, fears and also joy. But what actually happens in the background, how do we actually feel about it? It often remains hidden from us, unnoticeable.

Chained to everyday life, I frequently had to adapt. But was the particular role in life really appropriate for me? Was it really what I wanted? Parents, school, circle of friends, career, everything often drives us to where we don’t really feel fulfilled and happy. That’s how it was for me. Hence often bad mood, nervousness, lack of energy and finally burnout. A dead end. Everything stopped and I didn’t know what to do. Affirmations, anti-depressants etc. had no lasting effect on me.

Fortunately I came to Ayahuasca, which brought me back to life, which led me to ME. Many things have become obvious and I am enjoying my life again. And if you feel the same way as I did back then, I recommend you get to know Ayahuasca. I had tried the classical Ayahuasca first, until I took the Syrian Steppe Rue at Christian’s, which improved my condition enormously. At his retreat I was very well looked after by Christian and his team, they really took care of every participant. Everything was perfectly organized, the atmosphere made me relax deeply and took me into an inner space of serenity. Even after the retreat, when some questions or doubts arose, the team gave the possibility to contact them for a consultation.

I am infinitely grateful to the medicine, also to Christian as well as Erhan and Claudia for your contribution on my way to MYSELF!

Review (January 2023, Christina): “The best start to the new year”

With a warm welcome and a small tour of the house, we were received by Christian. The energy in the premises was very pleasant, so I could immediately feel at ease.

The first ceremony was the cocoa ceremony. It supports the opening of the heart, which i find to be a perfect start to begin this special journey.
The next day was the Rapé ceremony. It was a very intense physical experience and at the same time I also felt extremely liberated, as if I could breathe through my whole body. Through Erhan’s sensitive way I was well guided through this process. While some of the other participants threw up a lot, I still felt very good and thought, this is how it can go on, but Madre Aya does not give you what you want, but what you need. And so it happened that I also threw up for a very long time after taking the bitter medicine. The nausea was getting to me, yet, or perhaps because of it, I continued to try to remain in deep gratitude. I had many visual experiences, movies that ran in my head. Yes, I can say that Madre Aya recognized my fears and worries to the depths and I had to go through this process, because healing happens when you face your shadow. I also kept seeing the head of a tiger. I found him very supportive, perhaps as my personal power animal, which prompts me to go through life more courageously.

Definitely this weekend was an enrichment in my life. I would like to express a big compliment to Christian and the whole team. They always met us openly, lovingly and empathically. If I decide to do a “second round”, I would like to do it again at Ayahuasca in Germany.

Review (November 2022, Manuel): “I can feel love again!”

The weekend was a magical experience from beginning to end, I was very impatient the weeks before the retreat, I could hardly wait until it was finally so far, because for me there was only one goal, namely to finally get in touch with Mother Aya.

Then it was finally time, the weekend started with the cocoa ceremony, the purpose is to open the heart, which was a very good introduction for the upcoming ritual. Already during the ceremony some barriers opened in me and one felt more connected, it was a great warmth and I could let myself go noticeably.

On the 2nd day we meditated with the group and did some exercises together for the group spirit, including looking each of the participants in the eye for 1.5 minutes.

At first, when I heard this, I thought ohoo … this might be uncomfortable. I am not someone who has problems looking people in the eye, but to look into the eyes of complete strangers for this time was just a strange feeling for me.

I must say that it then came quite differently: When I looked the 1st person in the eyes, I could feel a connection to this person – and from then on it was no longer negative, but a warm comfortable feeling, so I could get to know the whole group in a non-verbal way.

I liked it very much and from then on we were a collective, the group spirit was fully felt. Some started crying and were able to open up, because this also requires a fair amount of intimacy. You give yourself completely to the other and you let the person look deep into you.

On the same day a bit later the Rapé ritual was initiated, at first I was a bit inhibited…. I’m not a fan of pulling things through my nose…. I already have my problems with snuff… the feeling when I tried it once was just disgusting

But then I decided to do the Rapé ritual and I was surprised, it wasn’t as bad as I expected in the beginning, on the contrary it was a super pleasant feeling digging through my head from nose to neck.

I could feel my brain, it all tingled so much and in a subtle pleasant feel-good way. As the initial effect of Rapé wore off, a blissful feeling flooded through me and my head felt a bit heavy and I was a bit dizzy, as I said all very subtle and pleasant.

Anna was the ritual master (Rapé) and did a great job.

Then was shortly before 15:00 and it went on the target just we took a last small meal (vegetable soup) and I smoked my last cigarette, at that point it was then 6 hours until the Ayahuasca ritual, in the time we could move freely, so walk or sleep or exchange our impressions with each other. The time just did not go fast enough for me, I could not wait.

At some point it was 20:00 and we all gathered in the ceremony room, we were all then explained how Ayahuasca works and what it does with you, basically it cleanses body and mind, the actual work of the plant then begins in the weeks after. (I wasn’t really aware of that before) in any case all questions were answered and it was explained well and in detail what was coming up.

Then it was finally time, it was shortly before 21:00 and we could all individually pick up our glass of ayahuasca, before we were still smoked and should then go to our place.

I held the glass with the greatest impatience in my hands and smelled it and looked at it and thought to myself only now it is finally so far I hold it in my hands. We should wait until everyone has his glass and then drink it together. (was again light torture for me personally)

Then it was time, I held the glass in front of my heart chakra and expressed my wish to Mother Aya, then I took it and poured it down in one go. It tasted really very bitter, other impressions came to me in addition but bitter meets it probably quite well… I had never tasted such a taste before, I would describe it at best still as very very bitter medicine.

After 10 minutes the first participants started to vomit, I was lying there with almost no noticeable effect, I thought to myself be patient, LSD worked for me only after 3 hours, so it could be that I would have to adjust to a similar period of time here… but somehow I hoped that this time it could be different and I am not the exception…

Well, after 1.5 hours I felt except for a slight sedation still no effect, meanwhile almost the whole room has had to vomit well audible and was fully in the process… some have cried others have spoken to something I could at the time still very well perceive everything and have me so bit around to let the impressions on me, then I thought to me hmmmmm with me there is still nothing arrives so really….

As I said it was 1.5 hours and I felt virtually nothing, it was called to the 2nd round and before that I was told if I after the 1st glass and the past time of 1.5 hours can still walk independently I could get me a 2nd glass with a clear conscience. Said done! I and 3 other participants fetched us supplies and I drank my 2nd glass, again I held it in front of my chest and expressed the same desire again, I waited a short time with the lie down and shortly thereafter I lay down again flat and closed my eyes, I waited again patiently for the effect of the brew, but nothing great happened … except that I went to the bathroom 3 times, I was almost sober…

I was frustrated and kind of sad, I just thought to myself, why? Why can’t it go smoothly for once…. I prepared like very few of my group, I took it so seriously and wanted to get the best possible result. But apparently that remains denied to me.

In the meantime 3 hours have passed and the 3rd round was called, no one came forward, not even me…. I thought, if 2 don’t bring anything, I can save the 3rd dose… so I didn’t raise my hand and lay on my side and stewed in my frustration, I thought to myself that it wasn’t worth it anymore. For me it was really hard…. all around me fully in the process and I am as an observer there… so it seemed to me…

Suddenly a hand touched me… I startled slightly and thought WTF? But then it was Christian who had sat down next to me, he said to me * Manuel, would you not rather have a 3rd glass? * As if he knew what I was going through and I didn’t really feel any effect… I said to him that I had already drunk 2 and I didn’t really think that a 3rd glass would improve anything…. He then said that he thought it was necessary, so I said to him, * okay then I’ll have a 3rd glass so what can go wrong… * I really didn’t care at that point I was just frustrated and I didn’t care then either. *

He brought me the 3rd glass and I drank it without wishing for anything or making any gestures, like this * give me the stuff* put the glass away and lay down again. (I was once again the exception and the only one who needed a 3rd glass )

After what felt like half an hour I opened my eyes, suddenly I saw strobe-like points of light in the whole room (green blue red) I just thought … is here somewhere a laser from the disco ? And then suddenly everything went very fast … I had to throw up all of a sudden… the feeling came out of nowhere… in my whole belly it grumbled and bubbled, I asked myself … there is nothing more in it, the diet the few but healthy food and the already 3 sessions on the toilet should have taken everything out of me.

I bent over the bucket and puke a pitch black but clear (not foamy) liquid out, Oh you shit has tasted disgusting and smelled…. I can not describe it with words, what that was for an abysmal Plörre, it was pitch black broth that came out of me… Ayahuasca tasted like a cocktail with sugar on the rim.

Then I lay down with the inner caution that there could possibly still come something… a few minutes later I got the feeling to go to the toilet, when I opened my eyes the whole room was blue…. Blue lights that illuminated the walls, I then asked the person who had to help me to the toilet (could no longer walk independently) whether the police would be at the door … because it has to go out the same way as if the house was surrounded by blue lights … (slightly jokingly she said to me, No there is no police in front of the door) then I had to grin briefly and I realized what’s going on here.

After I was on the toilet (altogether 6 times in this evening) and again to my place was brought back I noticed these blue lights like already before, only this time patterns were to be recognized in these blue lights… the meander thus the running dog.

I lay down and closed my eyes, while the eyes were closed I did not experience as much light spectrum as when my eyes were open… but suddenly an image appeared in front of me …. It was my mom and she looked at me, I could see her clearly, suddenly the image changed … my mom became an old Indian woman with feather ornaments and all the trimmings, whose gaze met me, I somehow winced and opened my eyes, the image then no longer came and leaves me until now with question marks, I can at this time no real explanation to form.

I suspect it was Mother Aya because I saw my mother and then a completely different person (Indian old woman).

But maybe I will get more info about this, because new impressions and changes are coming into my life every day.

At night at 02:00 the official ceremony was over and the music was turned off, I lay there until 03:00 and let myself drift.

Already on Sunday shortly before the departure and after the common group sharing we made ourselves then on the way home and I must always describe in addition the condition before so that you can understand what and how it changed for me.

I am an overthinker and can only concentrate with difficulty in such group activities, I am quickly bored and drift off into thought… as that is just so as an overthinker… but as the people told their experiences I could amazingly listen very well and there was not a moment where I drifted off mentally, I was fully and completely with the thing. I felt already there an order and silence in my head … which otherwise smokes only so before loud trains of thought. That was the first thing I noticed.

I am a very aggressive driver, even if I am not in time pressure I drive like the last sow, what the car gives just… if someone drives in front of me on the left lane and brakes me out then I force this person so long until he makes way… I then drive up to half a meter to his bumper ran and yes … there are only a few who let me do that to them and then get out of the way …

On the way home I noticed that in me a deep serenity spreads and I can drive for me the 1st time quite relaxed. I had no more desire to force people for no reason. My co-driver has also noticed that I am much more relaxed than on the outward journey. I simply had no more pressure, it was okay for me if someone was in front of me, then I just waited until he made room of his own accord without stress.

That was the second thing I noticed, I had suddenly looked at it from the point of view that it is good not to endanger people unnecessarily including me and my passenger.

It was already agreed that I would come to my mom for breakfast on Monday, I was especially looking forward to a cup of coffee (it was Sunday).

When I woke up Monday then I drove right Frühs to my mom to Frühstücken, the 1st thing my mom offered me was a cup of coffee ^^ and I found it at the time already remarkable because I somehow no longer had a desire for coffee, I let them still make me one and drank a sip, I did not really taste it, after two more sips I then poured away the cup, I just did not want to drink more coffee, as if something in me would not want that anymore. And I don’t know if you can understand it through that, but for me it was quite clear that something is different here, you know yourself quite well and I also said to the other participants that I’m looking forward to the cup of coffee on Monday.

After we had breakfast we went for a smoke and I told my mom about my weekend, when I got to the part about the retreat itself (Saturday) I had to start crying terribly.

(back story to this)

I have had to experience and go through a lot in my life, especially the last few years, I have absorbed almost everything and not even evaluated most of it, like taking something and putting it in a box. I have always perceived myself as hard and cool so in that way nothing can pull me down or reach me at all.

The last years the same, nothing can bring me from the rest and emotions are what for weaklings, but I am strong.

In any case, I told my mom about it and something came up in me at that moment, it wasn’t sadness, it was like redemption from myself. Shortly after that I left and got into the car to drive around a bit, it was beautiful weather, I wanted to take advantage of that.

I drove out of the village and looked up at the sky towards the sun, it was the most beautiful gigantic clouds I have seen in a long time, and the sight hit me like a bomb…. suddenly there was such an extreme warmth in me and especially in my heart chakra region…. I had to start crying again, it touched me sooo extremely this sheer sight of the clouds and the touch of the sun… that I cried intensely for a beaten half hour, I drove with 60kmh through the area and again and again the look to the sun and the clouds, the feeling I felt was that the sun tells me that it also shines for me and it is okay if I allow and show my emotions. That felt so good, at some point I drove home and I felt super good, released, freed from what felt like everything I had to experience the last years and early youth. All the dams in me broke and I could let it out.

I really wanted to go into nature then, my favorite forest immediately came into my head, so that’s where I’m going now, the felt connection to nature was much stronger than usual, I’m a real forest goer and love to spend my time there, the feeling was 100x stronger than usual, I looked at and perceived everything much more closely, I felt connected and perceived the forest and nature with a much stronger awareness… everything is alive and connected and there for me when I need it.

Even then tears kept coming and I had to cry, yet my head was clear and not flooded with old or unnecessary thoughts as it usually was.

I said before the retreat that I would start smoking weed again as soon as I got home…. because I don’t want to give it up, because it’s good for me and I just like it. Like someone enjoys his beer in the evening … I enjoy my joint in the evening…. And actually I thought that I would treat myself to a joint again directly on Sunday evening or then on Monday… Until now it wasn’t the case, I don’t want to, I have no desire to. That doesn’t mean that I will never do it again, but currently I just don’t want to, to stay on the receiving end … I don’t want to seal myself off now and spend my evenings like before. I would much rather go out into nature or meet with people who are good for me.

Before the retreat I had a frozen pizza in the freezer and I wanted to make it on Monday evening because it is simply delicious…. but when the time came, I felt something inside me again… actually I would not like that at all. Much rather I would cook me what healthy, hardly was the thought through my head, I drove to the supermarket and bought me fresh vegetables and made me a rice that tasted suuuuper … The pizza is still in the freezer now and I just don’t feel like it…. No matter how tasty I talked myself into it before.

It doesn’t excite me one bit more….

Yesterday I was shopping again and I have been led as if by magic hand past all what I have bought me otherwise so, much rather I wanted to get me again what healthy for my fridge and I made me yesterday my 1st salad…. I was so looking forward to making a salad…. I go now much more consciously through the shelves and buy me only where I have a feeling that it is also good for me…. As if Aya would tell me, don’t waste it, what I got out of you was the reason for your physical problems… feed on me from mother nature…

I still don’t feel like eating meat… at all.

These are the impressions and changes I feel in my own body…. I feel in me a kind of sensor that tells me what I should leave and what is good for me.

This makes me so happy because now I have a plan of what I can and cannot do.

I am very grateful for myself and my life and can feel love again….

If that is not something great!

Review (November 2022, Stefan): “Inner peace and serenity and my faith in the human were returned to me”

I first heard about ayahuasca from a friend who walked part of the Camino de Santiago and ended his tour with an ayahuasca ceremony. I found it very interesting what he told me and I looked into the subject a bit. When a friend told me about such a ceremony a few years later, it was clear to me – I would like to do that too. He sent me the link and recommended Christian and his team. I am not and have never been the type to meditate or anything like that. But the fact that you eat something that has an effect on you – that seemed plausible to me. So I signed up. I tried as best I could, as per the recommendation on the website, to prepare myself. My intention was to find myself again, as I had lost myself over the last few years and especially in my last relationship. Then the time had come, Friday was arrival. When I arrived, I immediately felt very comfortable. It was a very great group with very interesting people. I didn’t realise at the time how important this factor would also be for me. During the weekend there was also a cocoa ceremony and our shaman Erhan administered rape to those who wanted it. These were great experiences in themselves. During the cocoa ceremony I suddenly started laughing. This, combined with specific breathing exercises, was the absolute and pure joy that was suddenly inside me and wanted to come out. It was an incredible experience. Then it was time for the Ayahuasca ceremony. I was not excited, I was rather looking forward to it. Then it started, the group drank ayahuasca together. After about 15 minutes, some started the process, you could hear sounds of people throwing up. I concentrated on myself and continued to wait with joy for what was waiting for me. When nothing happened after about 1.5 hours, I got a second portion. But even after another 1.5 hours nothing happened to me. Then I got a third. After another long wait, it started happening to me. I saw flashes and lights, had the feeling of being on a trampoline, which at some point turned into a very pleasant swaying. I didn’t have any images or visions. When the ceremony was over, I was a bit disappointed. On Sunday we all shared our experiences. Many participants told of incredible experiences. It was great how openly the group talked about everything. Christian emphasized again and again – even if nothing happens during the ceremony, the plant continues to work and you may even notice changes weeks later. And indeed it was like that. I feel more relaxed and calm than I have in a long time. Things that used to stress me out I now face with more calm and serenity. Overall, I have become much more content without having consciously experienced anything at the ceremony. I think to myself, then this is my process, it’s what’s good for me at the moment and what the plant trusts me to do. It was certainly not the last time for me, I want to continue to get to know myself better and know what my subconscious has to tell me. The weekend gave me a lot of strength, not only the team, but also the participants. In retrospect, I noticed that I didn’t know what they did for a living. The conversations were never about superficialities. It was incredible and unforgettable that it was always about the essentials, about the important things. No one was interested in how you look, what you wear, what you do for a living, etc.; these superficialities that unfortunately shape our lives today were not there. This gave me back some faith in humanity and in the human condition, which unfortunately seems to be lost nowadays. Thank you to the team and the participants, but also to the plant, that I was allowed to be part of it, and that the memories and the process will accompany me on my future path in life.

Review (October 2022, Laura): “A feel-good retreat”

Christian and the great team around him managed to ground us from everyday life and all the stress in one weekend, to bring us to rest and to prepare us in the best possible way for the ceremony with the steppe rue.
It was a very warm welcome on Friday afternoon, and at the latest after the cocoa ceremony in the evening one had arrived and felt very comfortable.
On Saturday we all had time for ourselves and could prepare for the ceremony in the evening by meditating long and consciously with very inspiring music.
The whole team managed to create a great atmosphere in which you felt safe and secure above all, which enabled you to fully engage with the tumbleweed and let the medicine work on you and within you.
This process of working goes beyond the ceremony on Saturday and requires a lot of work with oneself even after the retreat.

Surely one imagines something healing and also relaxing under the word retreat, but physically this weekend was very demanding, at least for me.
Nevertheless, now 2 weeks later, I can say I am doing well and I feel good.

I would not want to miss this experience and I am very grateful for the people I got to know during the weekend and for the experiences we shared.

Review (October 2022, Patrick): “The timeless atmosphere”

First of all, I would like to thank the Ayahuasca team Anna, Mary, Erhan and Christian, because a successful ceremony also requires good support, I felt safe with you at all times and completely forgot my initial worries or even fears. You managed to make the weekend feel like an eternity in the best possible sense, there was such a timeless atmosphere, no everyday stress, no work stress and an overwhelming group spirit, which made this an incomparable experience. After the retreat I almost wished I didn’t have to go back to my everyday life as I quickly got used to the positive vibes during the weekend.

Now about the plant medicine, they say that the mother ayahuasca works days or weeks before and even afterwards, I can only subscribe to that, I became aware of ayahuasca by chance, or so I thought, after doing research based on symptoms, but nothing happens by chance. During the ceremony I struggled a lot at the beginning, as my cleansing process must have been bitterly needed, because it must be clear to everyone that it is a form of self-healing, which means you are made to deal with yourself on the inside. The plant medicine takes you by the hand while you are confronted with yourself – this is a different challenge for everyone, but it is worth it.
After the difficult beginning, where I didn’t even know who, what or where I was and heard some people talking, I had probably the best night of my life: the first thing I remember was visiting different people in my dreams and talking to them, then I was in space and flying around, then I flew to a galaxy, a star system and to earth, getting smaller and smaller until I finally arrived at the cell, the atom and even smaller components. That’s when I first realised that the world is the same on a large scale as it is on a small scale, both inside and out. Arriving at the centre of the universe, I met a version of myself that claimed to have been through it all. We talked all the time and played things together like poker and so on. I also learned a lot about myself as a person, who I actually am or should be. Afterwards I got some homework on how not to fall back into old patterns, because the plant can show you the way, but you have to go it yourself. I can’t even say how long it took: Weeks or years, but then to wake up and realise that it was just one night is the best “mindfuck” I’ve ever had – so blatant that it took me hours to wake up properly. I can still feel it having a positive impact on my life over 2 weeks afterwards, since the evening of the return trip everything is different for me: a new relationship, new professional perspective and so on, everything is becoming the way it should be, it’s like bigger and bigger dominoes falling little by little. I will probably do it again soon, as I know the plant is still working with me.

Thank you dear AYAHUASCA IN GERMANY team for taking such good care of us.

Review (October 2022, Thomas): “A wonderful weekend!”

A wonderful weekend!

Dear thanks to you, wonderful souls, for supporting the process of turning inward.
For me it took courage to come to this retreat. There were (are) fears in me to face what I am hiding from myself.
I was afraid of getting “stuck” somewhere.
What I experienced this weekend was real, honest and wonderful.
I went through my process and experienced that I am accompanied and held at all times by the team around Christian.
I was allowed to have my experiences and take insights into my heart and mind through the healing plant.
Through the ceremony I have been able to access parts of myself that I had been aware of in some way up to now, but which had not yet presented themselves in such a real and honest way.
Thank you so much for your time, dedication and love …

Review (October 2022, Doro): “The cave and the darkness”

It is a challenge to let go. But if you dare to take that step, great things can happen. I saw a lot through the plant and also got a message that was perfect for me at the moment. I went into my cave through the darkness to become NOBODY. If I am nobody, I can be ANYTHING. I had to leave everything behind and go into the unknown. It was scary, painful, liberating and much more.

All the team members contributed to me having this strangely beautiful experience. Through openness and the whole setting, they made it possible for everyone to experience exactly what they were ready for.

Review (September 2022, Carsten): “How I became a joker”

It took about half an hour.

Half an hour, in fact, after I ingested the not really delicious-tasting brew of the sacred plant, it happened. Well, that it may not necessarily be delicious, but it can be precious – more on that later.
But what happened half an hour later?
Not to strain the suspense any further: Nothing!
Absolutely nothing happened.
After these 30 minutes, I decided for myself that nothing else would happen. My tension fell away and I prepared myself for an evening just as relaxing and heart-warming as the day before in the cocoa ceremony.

And that was a mistake. Maybe?! But maybe it was also the initial spark of what now seemed to begin after all.
For who knows whether it was precisely this letting go of my already low expectations of the ayahuasca evening that encouraged the spirit of the plant to get going.
And that’s exactly what it did, all of a sudden: It got going.
Without a doubt! More powerful, more intense and more emotionally painful than I would have expected.

From one minute to the next I felt different. Like a warm viscous liquid, a kind of lava flow poured into me in all my limbs. For example, I looked at my forearm in disbelief because this warm feeling was just spreading there – and my gaze followed this felt lava flow further into my hand, and finally it ended in the tips of my fingers. Because of the great unknown inside me, I instantly became afraid and hot. Extremely hot. Within minutes I was soaking wet with sweat and feverishly divesting myself of as many of my clothes as social conventions would allow. I was sweating like I was in a Finnish 100° sauna after an infusion.

I no longer knew where to put myself. I spun around on all axes. I sat down and lay down again. I couldn’t do much more at that moment. But all that I managed to do in my desperation finally and ultimately did not change my situation. It felt as if another force was now becoming master of my body and I was faced with the challenge of allowing it to happen. But I didn’t want to. I went into resistance. Sure, I was scared and it was unfamiliar territory.
This scenario was called the hot desert blizzard. At least that’s the name that appeared in the credits of my Rocky Horror Picture Show to follow. I know – a blizzard is a blizzard and one might wonder which credits are meant here. Well, some of the statements and experiences that follow simply lack any intellectual basis. It is a very powerful and above all intuitive experience that Ayahuasca gave me, which I try to reproduce one to one – even if the ordinary mind thinks it knows better.
In the same way, that very same mind thought it would be a great idea to put my legs up and take a sip of water when I was feeling very dizzy. At least that’s what I happened to have done only a few weeks before in a similar condition with quite considerable success. But ayahuasca didn’t give a damn about my supposedly witty ideas.
They petered out in no time and nothing helped. I am not one to demonise the mind. Certainly not. It is an extremely useful tool. But in this situation – I learned – it had better “keep its feet still”.

Because all the symptoms got worse. And my fear – which, by the way, was one of my intentions for this retreat – seemed to fuel the whole thing and acted as a catalyst – or rather as a turbocharger, to use the metaphor.
Out of this fear, I called a team member to me, shared my ever-increasing worries and needs and asked if I could be led out into the fresh air. However, I was advised against this and warmly conveyed that – in order to gain optimal benefit from the experience – I should let the process continue to work. And that was absolutely good, as it turned out later.
It was said beforehand that after taking the “elixir” a gate could open, but you had to go through it yourself. If I had left the ceremonial room, taken a breath of fresh air and avoided the situation, the gate might have closed again. So I stayed and tried to keep calm as best I could at that moment. I also remembered the help mentioned by the ceremony leader just before taking the ayahuasca: breathe! I already knew what a wonderful and powerful tool conscious breathing can be.

But once again the mention of it – shortly before the beginning – made me actually think about it in this “emergency situation” and so I breathed more strongly than ever before. And this conscious full breathing also helped me a bit. Not in the sense that I wanted to warble a happy little song, but at least it gave me the feeling of regaining a little control over my body. That alone was a relieving, uplifting and calming feeling after the lava flow experience and indeed helped me to get my parasympathetic nervous system off the siding again and let it do some work.
Unfortunately – possibly triggered by the intense and strong breathing contractions – I now had a strong nausea, which lasted until the early hours of the morning, but I never had to give in to it.
However, the thought of throwing up and fainting at the same time made my fears swell again. I began – very unusually for my current life situation – to develop extremely destructive thoughts. Because I was then afraid that I might choke on my vomit as a result of fainting. So I called in another team member again. I urgently explained my symptoms to him as well, including a subtle fear of leaving this life I had come to love so much.
This team member also decided that I was going through a completely normal process and he was also able to intuitively convey a trust to me. A trust that everything is really “going according to plan” and that I am not exposed to any immediate danger. That I am in a safe space here and that I can and must direct my consciousness solely towards looking evil in the face. That although it could be damn hard, there is no danger whatsoever, not even the slightest danger to my life.
All right, then. Grounded by this confidence, I stayed one more time. What else could I do. By now I was in no way in control of the situation, let alone my senses, and couldn’t take a single step on my own without help.
So I stayed on my mattress and hoped that I had survived the worst. But that was all I hoped for – as it turned out later.

Next to the nausea, my intestines did not quite agree with the ingredients of the Syrian rue, and my stomach announced an intensive cleansing, which I would not have been able to prevent intuitively. Moreover, I felt the music more and more intense, beguiling and eerie. I felt more and more at the mercy of the music, constricted and pushed into a corner. To make matters worse, my mattress was actually tucked into a corner of the room, which must certainly have intensified the feeling. I actually didn’t want it any more now. I just wanted it to stop. These were also “prophecies” from the team: “When the medicine really takes effect and it works in you, it mercilessly shows you your shadows, then you want it to stop.” Yes. That’s exactly how it was. I wanted it to stop. Now! Now! But it got worse.

I lay in my corner, wet with sweat and largely disoriented. Now I knew, on the one hand, that I would have an unpleasant load in my pants in the next five minutes if I didn’t make it to the ceramics section, and on the other, that I would hardly be able to get up under my own steam, let alone put a step in front of the other. So I raised my hand for the third time and told exactly this to a thankfully very strong team member. He more or less carried me to the toilet. My legs were only making toddling movements, while I felt a deep gratitude to feel a strong man’s arm that made it possible for me to reach the toilet before it started.
I stayed there for what felt like half an eternity and uhhh yes – cleaned several times.
Again and again I soaked a towel there – very exhausted and hardly able to lift my hands – and threw it on my head cooling it. It was a relief. Like an umbrella. It shielded me. From the heat. From the loud music. From the unreal world that I had to live through and seemed to have no good plans for me. But I knew I couldn’t stay here forever. It was just a little time out that I was granted. Time to breathe. To recharge my batteries. For the finale that awaited me still unknowing. Fortunately unknowingly. Because, had I known what lay ahead, I would have flushed myself down the drain. When I was completely drained, an inner voice told me that it was now time to return. And so I was carried back to my place to live through the terrible finale.

And this one was to show me the most disgusting and horrible grimaces I have ever seen. No –
not show. It was not a simple visualisation. Not a mundane visual showing in front of the inner eye. It is that moment that cannot be put into words. Because those, in turn, spring from the intellect. My experience, however, was initiated by something else – something much more powerful. But I find it difficult to define or describe. Except that it was hell.
All kinds of grimaces appeared. Some human, some animal, some both, some indefinable. Not necessarily familiar faces, but faces and grimaces that in turn brought to light familiar, already experienced negative feelings. Grimaces in high definition, in the most splendid and dazzling colours, so large and enormous that the inner eye became a big screen. And these abominations were partly to be seen rigidly and partly in motion. One grimace morphed into the next and from this in turn the next even uglier creature emerged, all of which revealed themselves to me in agony as if in a hellfire and then disappeared again into nothingness. The appearances changed partly like a kaleidoscope, partly in the brightest colours, more contrasting than any television could show. Then I thought I had “got used to” the abnormalities and a silence returned. The only reason for this was to set the stage for the sudden appearance of a single black and white giant, majestic and monstrous, coming slowly into view from below. Everything suddenly seemed to stand still. Even the deafening music could no longer be heard. Silence!
And now she looked deep into my “eyes”.
Deeply contemptuous, hurtful and accusing. I was given no time to assign any feelings to all this threatening scenery because it promptly went on and on and on.

In my desperate attempt to escape the whole spectacle, I opened my eyes. I thought to myself: how could one see something in the inner eye when one had opened the truthful eyes. But unfortunately, this suggestion of my mind did not work either. All of a sudden, the frenetic and deafening music began to penetrate my consciousness again, leaving behind an oppressive feeling, which also rekindled the nausea.
Closing my eyes again, the devilish grimaces welcomed me back. And they were not strangers. So not that I knew them – no, but I knew they were all here for my sake. I had some kind of connection. They knew me. I knew them. Even though we had never seen each other. I don’t know how to put it better. Anyway, I was very close to despair. Again and again putting the blanket over my ears – trying to escape the music. Again and again in every possible way trying to escape the horrible characters. Not a chance.

And again helpful words before the ceremony came to my mind: accept everything gratefully.
I rarely claim anything about myself. But there is one thing I am sometimes very proud to claim. Namely, that I try to live my life with a lot of awareness. This awareness consists to a large extent of deep and true gratitude. But at that moment, feeling gratitude was completely foreign to me. How could I be grateful to these deviant monsters who seemed to be angry with me?
But well. I guess I thought intuitively: I don’t have to feel it at all. I just have to say it first. Knowing the power of words in the back of my mind, I began to speak out loudly and louder and louder:
I am grateful.
I am grateful!
I am grateful!!!
So, like a wet sack, miserably clammy against a cold concrete wall and flooded with pure fear, I prayed this mantra over and over again. Not believing myself at first, it didn’t come immediately, but slowly, better and better. Now the grimaces also merged and changed into other indefinable forms, but also into the most magnificent flower and plant formations. Sometimes turning. Sometimes growing. Sometimes greyish. Sometimes colourful.
Furthermore, the increasingly penetrating music, loud drumming and often mysterious sounds of nature and animals intensified the images that were working violently in me. Sometimes I didn’t know what was happening inside me and what was happening outside. Which sounds came from the music box and which from the plant in connection with my experiences of the past years, perhaps of past lives – who knows?!

In any case, gratitude seemed to take hold. To my sensation, it was the fact that I looked the fears very deeply in the face, then went out of resistance and finally, in humility and gratitude, tried to accept the pain so that the martyrdom could slowly come to an end. Again and again I fell into a dream from exhaustion. From which I seemed to wake up startled. But it was a feeling like waking up from a dream that you in turn dream in an already existing nightmare. One only longs to go back to sleep. In between, I kept having bizarre experiences like being on a psychedelic trip. As if my limbs were made of rubber and they were moving. Or abstruse visualisations like me jumping around on a giant glowing keyboard and playing a song.

After about 4-5 hours, calm slowly returned to me. I felt used. Just as I had initially felt that someone had seized power over me, I now felt that this someone was laughingly spitting me out again and I lay there defenceless. But I was left to myself again. The power, the magic, the energy of the plant medicine could still be felt in the room. It reverberated long, mystically and powerfully. But I knew the effect was slowly ebbing away inside me.

The fear gradually left my body and my mind. Then relief spread through me. I felt I had made it. It was a feeling of happiness of a special kind. But I did not have the strength to express this feeling of happiness, yet I savoured it within me. That was all I needed at that moment.

My body, however, felt very unwell for another 3-4 hours. If I had
had I made unconscious movements too quickly – I would have thrown up. So I preferred to lie still. I just turned carefully to the side sometimes, bent and stretched my legs again and again to give my body at least some kind of relief.

Regardless of the physical after-effects, however, I felt increasingly more comfortable emotionally. The gratitude I had previously verbalised mainly in disbelief now gripped me holistically and I was filled with extreme humility and gratitude. I felt like I was in my mother’s womb. Safe and well protected with the self-evident feeling that everything will be all right. Motivated and encouraged by this, and because I had been lying down for many hours, I tried to get up again and again. But very quickly I realised with larger movements that it was better to just lie there and let it have its effect. So I lay there for a few more hours, falling into a short sleep again and again.
Until the rooster invited me to a new day with his cock-a-doodle-doo.

The following Monday, I felt a great euphoria throughout the day.
Suddenly, when my mind came to rest from the intuition-numbing system job, I saw those disgusting grimaces again. This time, however, with a single difference: I was not afraid!
No, at that moment I myself was laughing like the grimaces.
I cried like the grimaces.
I screamed like the grimaces.
I was those grimaces!
By the way, good thing I could still close the windows and pull the blanket over my face – if anyone had heard me, they would have been disturbed on very many levels.
However, I wouldn’t call this an after-effect – that wouldn’t do the situation justice – it was rather a second, equally powerful effect. After I had looked deeply into the eyes of the fears during the actual ceremony on Saturday, they now dissolved, or rather:
I became part of them.
A part of these grimaces.

I became …. the joker.

Ha! And it was a fucking great feeling!

Yes! I felt like that fucking character from the Batman movies at that moment. And like I said, it
felt great to be the very face that had scared me two days before.

Well, we only achieve real freedom when we allow ourselves to be everything.

So I walked out of the resistance again and it was incredibly liberating and releasing, but it was also physically exhausting. I was extremely exhausted and let the feeling linger for a very long time lying down, tears welling up, full of inner satisfaction.

Thus, one of my greatest aspirations had been achieved: I wanted to meet my fears and, if possible, disempower them as best I could.

Furthermore, I wanted to meet my higher self and know whether I was on the right path because of my potential. On this Monday I also received two clear answers, which made me extremely happy and once again strengthened me in my intention.

I went my way that day with more sovereignty, determination, courage and security.

Furthermore, I felt a deep gushing gratitude to all the participants of the retreat, to the sacred plant and especially to the Ayahuasca team.

Now that the spirit of the plant is always within me and will accompany me forever, it is time to carry this experience forward with awareness.

I wish you all that you can find and live your true potential, become blissful with awareness and thus we all come a little closer to a new earth.

Kind regards
Carsten

Review (September 2022, Isabella): “An unforgettable, valuable experience”.

We received a very friendly welcome and were well-prepared in every respect for our
for our journey with the Syrian steppe rue! For me, the team radiated a deep calm, strength and an impressive presence.
I could trust!

The first evening with the cocoa ceremony with the touching music brought me into a deep meditation. On Saturday there was time for conversation, and a beautiful practice together brought our group into a beautiful harmony!
Then the night with the medicine: I was allowed to receive three pieces of information from the medicinal plant that were important for me.
But it took another night and deep meditation before I could fully understand the information.
I notice how the medicinal plant continues to work and shows me what is significant to understand at the moment!
Important to understand at the moment!

This first connection with the medicinal plant has definitely strengthened my connection to spirituality and improved my access to myself.
I am happy and very grateful for this experience! I wish all dear people that they can connect with the spirit of the healing plant.
Healing plant, because we are touched exactly where it is needed!
Thank you, Christian and your dear team from the bottom of my heart for sharing your valuable experiences with us!
Valuable experiences with us!

My respect for your process, what you have already gone through.
All love
With much gratitude
Isabella

Review (August 2022, Radu): “On the journey inside”

From the beginning of this journey, I have tried not to judge anything, to simply
accept everything that was coming-
The team looked after us the whole weekend with a loving motherly rigour.
the whole weekend, accompanying us both literally and in a subtle energetic way.
energetic way.

On Friday evening we had the cocoa ceremony, a possibility I underestimated at first.
a way to open our hearts, a celebration of our being and also a preparation for the
of our being and also a preparation for Saturday evening.
I don’t think any of us could have really guessed what kind of journey we were
lay ahead of us. And it is a good thing. Life lives itself.

On Sunday afternoon, after saying goodbye, I felt more clearly,
that something like a very fine, undefined layer of energy of mine
dissolved. My ego was peeled off a layer.

In the evening I was further exhausted and later, when I had gone to bed
inwardly I was ready for this night to be my last night.
could be. No fatalism, no victimhood.
On Monday when I got up, ah, I’m still here…. there was a
silence and also a peace. But as I got more and more into everyday life, I had
felt more and more distant from it.

In the afternoon when I was in town, shopping, I was still tired and exhausted.
and exhausted, the people and the noise, all of it was very hard to
to bear, I had a headache and every moment it became more and more difficult to
to bear.
My perceptions triggered certain emotions and the emotions continued to
kept me in this uncomfortable state. Suddenly I became
I became aware of my situation. No, I said to myself, I don’t want this
no more, this is not me. I started to love everything, my headaches
my headaches, the noise, the people, everything. I concentrated on
on love, on making it more present in me. From one minute to
the headaches suddenly disappeared, the people didn’t bother me any more, I could
people no longer bothered me, I could look at them peacefully.
the noise was no longer noise, it became something musical.

Yes, the last WE opened something wider in me, the holiness and the liveliness of life became clear to me.
The sacredness and aliveness of life has become clearer to me – and I can feel it more deeply,
it’s more humility, even when I’m making my celery juice or tea or a salad.
I somehow feel the spirit of the plant and give thanks for it – but not out of courtesy
not out of politeness, it flows deeply from my heart.

The old structures are still there, but something which is also related to
other inner processes has changed.

I am currently experiencing a very intense transformation of my being, both
on the outside (giving up my self-employment, finding a new job)
as well as on the inside (intensive confrontation with my beliefs,
illusions, shadows, ancient conditioning).

I feel that in my heart the wonderful people I was with on the
I feel that in my heart the wonderful people I was with on the WE continue to inspire me, that they live on in me – and I am sure
I am sure I continue to live in them. This is the infinite world of the heart.
With deep gratitude!

Review of Homa’s experience (August 2022): “If you really want change, this is the place to be!“

I spent a whole weekend in the retreat house and it was a good decision in every respect. Starting with the beautiful house itself, then the nature, the team, the shamans, the organisation, the other participants, the meals: Up to the two ceremonies themselves, everything was both loving and absolutely safe. All concerns on my part were fortunately in vain thanks to a competent and capable and devoted team. The ceremonies themselves are wonderful opportunities to begin a journey that is not otherwise accessible. If you really want change, this is the place to be!!! And the change is carried by an incredibly wise, powerful healing plant that envelops everything in great love.

What an exciting weekend and what an exciting time afterwards. I can’t get out of being amazed. And with the amazement I feel a deep gratitude, but also respect for the plant. I always feel connected to it. For the first time (!) in my life, I know what is meant by “to become still”. Only now has something in me become still. Something has changed deeply. The plant is still working a lot in me. I get a lot of information, especially about polarity/duality and our creation. I think a lot about light & shadow and what that means for my work as a psychotherapist. I am still purging, although not by throwing up, but I am still purifying. As soon as I put my hand on my heart chakra, my hand starts shaking. If I take it away, it stops shaking too. So much is happening. Everyday life has me back and many people also ask me how it was. But I find it difficult to put my inner experience into words. And I also have a need for a place with the plant or plants and shamans and healers. Who knows what will happen next? Thanks again to Christian and the whole team! Without you the whole thing would not have been possible.

Review of Marcel’s experience (August 2022): “Mama Ayahuasca”

I can only agree with the previous speakers. The team, the environment, the atmosphere, the ceremonies, the preparation… everything fits together perfectly and makes for a good set and setting. Since a lot has already been said here in the testimonials, I would rather tell you about my personal experience during the ceremony and with taking the medicine.
With certain respect, but without fear…. With clear intention, but without exuberant expectation and a little buzz of excitement, I drank the medicine. It tasted a little like cold lentil soup with a funny aftertaste, but not as bad as I had imagined. I sat for some time listening to the music, then lay down and waited anxiously for the effect. It lasted about half an hour. At first I didn’t think I noticed anything, but when I peeked out from under my eye mask, I was disabused. My visual stimuli were somehow distorted and dizziness set in. So I closed my eyes again and relaxed. A short time later, the visualisation of my thoughts began. The feeling of gradually sinking deep into the mattress was still frightening, but I let myself go. Shortly afterwards I landed gently in a field of lavender. I lay among the plants and could perceive the colours and the music in the background with such incredible intensity. The following events are very difficult to describe in words… I was still lying in this colour field when a tree grew out of the ground behind my head. It was huge and as it grew further and further into the sky, a branch of it carried me up with it. Golden liquid dripped like syrup from the leaves and flowers. The branch I was lying on opened and formed a kind of bowl into which the syrup flowed and I floated in it. All the sounds and colours melted together and I was very relaxed and happy. In front of my face, colours, tones and energy materialised into a female face. Forehead to forehead. The rest of her body had no solid form, but appeared like a flowing robe of colourful energy. We later called her ‘Mama Ayahuasca’. She pulled me out of my body and I looked like her. I continued to see my body lying in the syrup bowl branch. We flew together, danced, merged…. Boundaries between time and space and matter disappeared and everything felt like one big whole. It was beautiful. At some point my consciousness spoke up and said to us that we do want to take care of this body, that there is an intention. So together we returned to the tree and back into my body. It felt like I was on two levels at the same time. I was in my syrup bowl as well as in the ceremonial space and I could perceive what was happening around me. Images appeared in front of me… like an incredibly fast photo show…. Images from my life. From birth to the present day. And as if there was a second consciousness inside me, we looked at the pictures. At certain points in my life, a picture stopped. I told something inwardly about this picture, about this situation, about my feelings about it. I worked through my issues. As soon as I was done with a picture, I felt very sick and threw up. It was not pleasant, but it also felt cleansing. Then I lay back down, regained my consciousness and the photo show moved on to the next image/topic. Reprocess, cleanse, next image…. it went on like that for quite a while and it was very, very exhausting. According to other participants, it probably went on like this for about 4-6 hours until Mama Ayahuasca then released me from the other consciousness and gently laid me back in the mattress.
The next morning was still difficult, my body was weakened and didn’t quite obey yet, but in the course of the afternoon I was fine again.
It’s been a little over a month now and I have to say, even though it was exhausting, I would do it again. I feel much fresher, more aware, more alert, more connected, more empathetic since then. Even my allergy, which developed 6 years ago at a turning point in my life, has suddenly disappeared. There were no hard blows in my life and I was not unhappy or depressed. And yet there were many little things that I was able to work through and let go of; and I became aware of things that there is still something for me to work on.
All in all, it was an experience that I would not want to miss and that I can only recommend to everyone; and I am curious to see how it will continue to affect my life.
Thanks again to the whole team for this great experience.

Review of Maren’s experience (July 2022): “More grounded and balanced than ever before”

It was my first contact with Mama Aya. I had also experienced a cocoa ceremony

Friday evening for spiritual attunement, I had not done this before.

I had never done before.

The whole weekend was a very special experience. I felt

I felt much more balanced, self-confident and grounded than usual.

than usual – as I have not felt for a long time, or perhaps never before. The

professional, loving and extensive support before and during the weekend, the healthy

and during the weekend, the healthy food, the cosy house in the middle of the

of forest and nature and the careful handling of our group gave me a sense of

group gave me a feeling of security right from the start, so that I could embark on this

I was able to embark on this special journey without fear or hesitation. It was also very

to have a lot of time and freedom on Saturday to spend in the garden or on a

to be by myself in the garden or on a walk in the woods, to talk to the others

talk to the others, rest and mentally prepare for the ayahuasca ceremony.

prepare for the ayahuasca ceremony.

My most spiritually intense time was on Saturday morning after the

cocoa ceremony. I took a long morning walk at sunrise and meditated.

and meditated. I felt very connected to nature and to myself, and I

to nature and to myself and intensely noticed things that I never

noticed otherwise. This was a subtle, beautiful and light feeling that lasted

lasted the whole weekend and a few days beyond.

The support team made it possible through the great atmosphere and the

and the group discussions and exercises created a very special group

group dynamic was created. Although we were all very different

and most of us did not know each other, we were able to open up from the beginning.

from the beginning. I was also able to open up in a very personal and honest way about my expectations, intentions, fears.

about my expectations, intentions, fears and experiences.

experiences. The so-called “Eye to Eye Meditation” on Saturday afternoon,

where two people look into each other’s eyes for 1.5 minutes.

each once, so a total of almost 40 minutes – in my opinion brought the

brought the group together much more and had a positive effect on the group cohesion.

group cohesion; precisely because it was a very intimate, intense and for many

and, for many, an extremely challenging and anxiety-provoking exercise.

with fear. It is not easy to get involved in it, but it is all the more rewarding and

more rewarding and beautiful when you do it. For me it was one of the best

experience of the weekend. It gave me a lot of strength and self-confidence.

confidence.

The ayahuasca ceremony on Saturday evening was more physical than spiritual and visual for me.

spiritual and visual nature. I had to vomit several times and got

got severe diarrhoea. But we were well prepared mentally beforehand

mentally prepared beforehand and were looked after very intensively and lovingly

cared for. Therefore, I was not afraid to give up control over my body to a certain extent.

body to a certain extent. I perceived it as a positive

purification process.

I did not get clear answers to my questions and my intention.

received. Although I thought I was ready for Mama Aya, an inner blockage seems to have

inner blockage seems to have prevented me from fully engaging with her.

to her. I am not disappointed at all, however, but see it as another

as another important step on my spiritual path. I think it is

important not to go into the weekend with too many expectations, but to be

but to be in the moment and accept the experiences as they come.

come. I was able to accept this for myself in each case. My previously

expectations were not fulfilled, but I was able to experience other

I was allowed to do other things that I hadn’t thought of before. And I was

happy for the other participants who had a much more intensive and

more intense and exciting journey with Mama Aya, and some of them got very clear

and got some very clear answers to their questions. Being happy with and for

with and for the others without feeling remorse for not fulfilling their own

expectations was in itself an empowering learning process. Quite

I was able to let my emotions run free and cry for no real reason.

I was able to cry for no real reason, something that is usually difficult for me.

Overall, the weekend was very enriching and valuable. It showed me

to go through life with even more awareness and to pay more attention to myself and my

to pay attention to myself and my inner feelings. I would definitely like to

repeat it.

Review of Roman’s experience (July 2022): “Pure Joy of life”

I came across this homepage at the beginning of last year. Since then, the thought or the wish to participate in an “Ayahuasca retreat” has not let go of me.

I was finally able to fulfil this wish, which was growing stronger and stronger, on a weekend in June.

My anticipation grew and was not dampened by the three-hour journey.

Upon entering the house, I sensed a pleasant atmosphere and was immediately greeted in a friendly manner by the Aya team.

After I had put down my things in the 5-bed room, I went to the tea room where some participants were already sitting.

After a few cups of tea and initial conversations, it was clear to me that I would meet very interesting people and like-minded people this weekend.

The round of introductions confirmed my first impression and the intentions / motives (for participation) of some of the participants touched me deeply. People spoke openly from the heart, so that a certain trust could develop within the group. Such openness is rarely experienced in everyday life, and I would like to thank all participants for this.

Afterwards, the cocoa ceremony took place, where I experienced my first highlight.

After taking the delicious and pleasantly scented cocoa together, intensive Breath-Working followed, which made my body tremble.

Afterwards, gentle sounds of a singing bowl penetrated deep into my heart and triggered an inner liberation process. I felt inner blockages dissolve and at that moment I felt an indescribable lightness and joy. In my mind’s eye I saw all the people I love – and great gratitude overcame me, so that I could no longer hold back my tears.

This heart-opening experience alone was worth attending the retreat.

The night after the cocoa ceremony I couldn’t sleep a wink. Probably the cocoa or the energies that were released in me were still having an effect.

The next day, two exercises were carried out in the morning to strengthen the team spirit. There were several intense moments in which some participants were moved to tears.

In the afternoon, a pleasant group meditation was done, which was very relaxing and got the group in the mood for the evening.

Around 9pm, the time had finally come, the long-awaited ayahuasca ceremony was about to take place. After a short and informative briefing on the Syrian steppe rue and the course of the ceremony, we got in the mood for the evening and took the medicine together.

Then it was time to relax and trust the medicine.

After what felt like two hours, the energetic, mental and physical cleansing process began. In addition, I experienced intense physical, optical and acoustic changes in perception.

In the course of the evening, thanks to ayahuasca (in the form of many images), I was shown what was blocking me internally and preventing me from living in joy and trust.

Even though many of the inner images seemed confused and random, I understood the message of the medicine.

After the ceremony I retired to my room to let the initiated process of change take effect in silence.

After a short but restful night, I got up early and felt a distinct change in me.

I felt a relief, as if something heavy and burdensome had fallen away from me.

My mind and thoughts were amazingly clear and structured.

I felt happy, content and balanced.

At the big sharing round, all participants shared their experiences and impressions gathered over the weekend.

I found the sometimes emotional reports of experience very interesting and inspiring.

I became aware that ayahuasca works in different ways for each person and that everyone experiences their own individual healing process.

I feel that already during the retreat weekend a life-changing process of change and development was initiated in me.

I experience everyday life with more ease, inner peace and joy.

I am even more open to new situations and people and meet them with more heart, acceptance and understanding.

I am even more confident that everything in life will develop in my favour and for the greater good of my fellow human beings.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank Christian, Mary, Anna and Diana once again for their warm and sensitive care.

I would also like to thank all the dear people who were there with me, who met me with an open heart and trust and who gave me their attention and time.

For me it was one of the best and most “productive” events I have ever attended.

It remains an “unforgettable” weekend in my memory.

I can highly recommend this Ayahuasca retreat from the bottom of my heart and think that there will be another opportunity for me to see the Aya team again sometime.

Review of Olgi’s experience (July 2022): “Joy of life”

I went to the retreat without any expectations and I am overjoyed to have had this great experience.

The weekend with these wonderful people has opened my eyes in many ways. Already during the introductions it was clear to me that the weekend would be magical, emotional and liberating. And so it was. Great people, intense conversations, two very emotional ceremonies that couldn’t have been more different.

I learned to relinquish control and trust within the short time.

Now two weeks after the ceremony I feel lighter, happier, more balanced.

I am still in the process of giving my soul the time it needs.

Thank you Christian, Anna, Mary and Diana

Review of Julia’s experience (July 2022): “Unique educational experience”

It was a very big and important step for me to join this retreat! I really don’t want to miss this experience any more.

I was able to meet so many wonderful people there and felt very comfortable very quickly.

The atmosphere is really very special. You can talk to so many people and the team on site about such profound topics, which is something you miss out on in everyday life.

The team really puts a lot of effort into creating a loving weekend for everyone.

It was my first experience with both cocoa and ayahuasca. I’ve never been able to engage with myself and my issues so intensely before. If you are in trust and really allow it, the healing plants bring up exactly the issues that are important to you at the moment.

What I found uniquely special was the joint sharing round on Sunday. Everyone got the time they needed to share their experiences of the weekend. That was one of the most important parts of the whole weekend.

I would choose this experience again and again!

Review of Matthia’s experience (June 2022): “An ecstatic experience of oneness”

Even before the arrival, there was a telegram group in which information and expectations were exchanged. Beforehand, I was able to make contact with participants from my area, with whom I then travelled together.

On the first day, there was a cocoa ceremony that initiated the process for what was to come and made many of the participants’ hearts more permeable. Playfully we met each other on the second day. The group of participants became closer and more familiar. The initial uncertainty was followed. Now I was ready for the Steppenraute.

On the second evening I looked after myself more. I made sure that I felt well and that I kept returning to myself with my attention so that I could have the experience with the tumbleweed in full consciousness. It was a highly ecstatic experience in which the experiencer and the experience became one. In the following nights I relived my experience in my dreams. In these dreams, the dreamer and the dreamed were also not separate from each other.

This experience of oneness of everything is highly gratifying and shows me again and again my/our primordial state from which we come and to which we can return.

Review of Kerstin’s experience (June 2022): “Everything flows!”

“This wonderful retreat came at just the right time for me.

It was a true blessing!

The Ayahuasca ceremony and the tumbleweed did deep healing in me and “made room” for many new experiences.

Already in the ceremony my old mother theme could heal deeply, afterwards a feeling of deep trust arose in me.

I came to myself even more deeply over the next few days.

The experience of “I am” (connected and a part of the big whole) I could deeply experience again and again is just the most beautiful thing. I am not alone. Everything is there.

Wonderful!

And, – something inside me knows.

Many synchronicities are opening up in my life right now – the less “I do”, i.e. am in resistance (thank you tumbleweed!) the more life flows and everything is always right.

Oh yes, and tumbleweed has really become my friend. 😊

Thanks again to the team, you were all really great!

I felt in good hands at all times!”

All my love,

Kerstin

Review of Josephine’s experience (June 2022): “Self-knowledge of a different kind”

I have really had some consciousness-expanding experiences, but this one was a COMING HOME.

Finally I could feel what I have been dealing with theoretically for so long in its full extent.

I AM. That is all there is to know for me. That is my essence from experience. Sounds so banal and yet it is so big for me. It has now become my main affirmation that accompanies me throughout the day and always brings me back to myself.

Everything I had channeled the years before was confirmed to me. I often could not fully grasp and penetrate it. The experience with this plant simply opened my eyes. It showed me that I am the creator of my life and can decide everything for myself, how I want it to be and what is next in my life.

Since the beginning of the year I have been working intensively on manifesting and am already tinkering with a new life. Within this experience I was allowed to train my mind how to stay outside the ego again and again. It was like an intensive crash course. And I was also allowed to look at myself again through the eyes of others, which gave me a new perspective on myself. I took so many things for granted, what I do, how I do things, how much I put into things and how much heart was and is always there. That touched me deeply, as well as some other aspects that I don’t want to list here.

However, I was allowed to understand for myself that in the end I was already in the observer in the “I am” from the beginning, but I was not aware that it was THAT. so the remaining veils were lifted once again and I was allowed to simply recognise myself in my full truth.

These insights and this feeling are priceless for me. I know for myself that I am doing so much, if not everything, “right” in my life and that I am standing at a very sharp point in my life, strengthened once again thanks to this experience.

I am deeply grateful to the whole team from the bottom of my heart! You put so much heart and soul into this, it is so tangible and valuable that I cannot express it in words.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for EVERYTHING!!!!

Review of Christoph’s experience (March 2022): “Into self-love”

This was my first experience with Mother Ayu.

I felt very comfortable on site.

The team is wonderful!!!

About my experience:

I went into the ceremony with the intention of “self-love” and very quickly realised that I am self-love and never had to learn that at all!

I was also flooded with deep love for my loved ones! This showed me how inattentive I am to them and need to change that!

I had a very challenging journey back on Sunday (waiting for hours, physically carried away, completely overwhelmed by so many people around me->had to wait a long time Cologne HBF) but I was able to let go more easily and just accept the situation (“It’s just taking a long time now and that’s the way it is”).

Since I’ve been back home, I feel more open and very emotional. It’s really good to go through the world like this! I LOVE IT!

I have had a few “arguments” with my ego again but that’s just the way it is. I stay as awake as I can.

Now I can already feel the next call, because I realise that I need to get to other issues (fears, traumas).

Mother Ayu will then probably work more intensively with me.

Further learnings also came. I felt my judgements towards other people much deeper and realised how sorry I am. Nobody is better, we all want to be seen and loved.

This judging only separates me and catapults me into misery.

I have noticed that very much!

And also I often think of you guys, listen to the music and cry!!!! Really awesome! I didn’t know anything like that about myself.

There is a lot of love for you!

Best

Christoph

Review of Mitra’s experience (March 2022): “First Ayahuasca experience”

I decided to go to Ayahuasca last month with a friend who lives in germany. She found the centre and we both enrolled. I was a bit anxious about the whole herbal trip and psychedelic retreat in a group of other people I didn’t know.

However; from the minute I got to the centre, i felt very relaxed. Everybody was lovely. Full of positive energy. The retreat itself is a beautiful place in the countryside, ideal for having a nice walk.

I felt totally safe taking the plant medicine as I knew the helpers would guide me through. They never left me alone while I was suffering during the purging.

I made new friends and felt very energetic coming back to my normal life. I would go back there as I had a beautiful experience.

Thanks to the great team.

You are all super stars

Review of Borka’s experience (March 2022): “Connecting with myself”

I chose to take part in the retreat as I have been anxious, depressed and emotionally simply empty. I did not have expectations, I simply wanted to seek my own truth and connect with myself again. Was hoping to be able to feel, love and give again.

I have followed the advice of Christian and stuck to a cleansing lifestyle before the retreat with such a discipline that surprised me. I suspected ayahuasca is working already 🙂

>From the moment I arrived it was an experience of flow. With every single ceremony, conversation, meditation, reflection my heart and soul was opening. It felt good to take time for my own healing.

During the cocoa ceremony, I couldn’t stop the tears, my pain has found its way out, followed by a timeless joy, listening to the beautiful music.

Right before the ayahuasca ceremony, I started to feel anxious, while I was hoping this sacred plant would ‘take me apart’ and show no mercy, whatever the amount of suffering I should bear. I realized what I’m most afraid of is falling into nothingness. So this is exactly what I imagined once I started to feel the alteration in my mind and body after drinking ayahuasca. Although my mind resisted in the beginning, guided by the music I was falling and falling and falling… Right into myself. My vision started. When I arrived I saw a little girl. She turned around and I realized it was me. 8 years old. I felt an immense amount of pain and hugged her and held her as close as I could. This little girl who was so brave, kind-hearted, smart, cheeky and curious has been left there alone a long-long time ago. It was so painful. We held hands and started spinning facing each other. This spinning was the backbone of my vision, that I kept going back to while one by one, ayahuasca has showed me my childhood traumas, the long buried pain of my child self and helped me bring them to the surface. It hurt so bad, I wasn’t only crying, I was in physical pain. What was interesting, that I put my hands on my forehead and the heat and weight of my palms was my anker to reality and reassured me that I am there. For myself.

After I was able to release all the pain I felt so exhausted. I had a vision that this little girl will become a part of me and act as my compass. Anytime I act against my own good, against my own truth, she will speak up. And one day, she will dissolve into my own cells and only then will I be whole as a human being.

And so it started. A long dance of union started until we finally became one. There are no words to describe the beauty and joy of this experience…

I could work with ayahuasca pretty conscientiously after this vision by addressing different topics and seeking solutions to them. (Will be curious to see the long-term effects of these.)

And then the physical pain and psychical cleansing started, which I wasn’t too happy about as I was so exhausted, I couldn’t move. But I knew it’s part of the healing and I just needed to get through it. Once the music ended I was able to drift off a bit.

The ceremony and the whole retreat was very well prepared, the team knew exactly what to look out for, how to prepare us, what we needed, what could happen. The setting, the preparation, the ritual, the music (I have to say I was and am deeply touched by the music), the light, they thought of everything. It was a safe place to let go and discover and I am so grateful to everyone. Thank you!!

Without realizing a deep connection has been formed with the group as well, through the different sessions, sharings and these energies are still noticeable now. With some people there is a sense of deep connection, although we are supposed to be complete strangers.

The gift from ayahuasca has been greater then I have ever expected, which turned out to be one of the greatest gifts of my life. The anxiety, the sadness is gone. Ayahuasca has filled my heart with gratitude, love and peace, that I can go back to by quieting down and looking in. And my little self is with me: curious, cheeky, brave and kind-hearted. We are united, we are one, I am. I haven’t felt so content, so connected to myself since I was a child.

Looking back this has been a whole process of healing since I decided to take ayahuasca. And I know there’s more work to be done. I learn to treasure and nurture these feelings and to take care of myself. I am so grateful for this chance and again a huge thank you to the group and the team for this wonderful healing. I have a very strong feeling that I will be back. 🙂

Review of Thyra’s experience (March 2022): “The recognition of my inner strength”

At the beginning, I went into the weekend with anxiety. Spending a whole weekend with so many strangers. But the fear was quickly taken away as I met many people of the heart there.

On Friday evening there was a cocoa ceremony. After taking it, I suddenly became very sad and felt how much I doubted myself. But I could not find a solution. It was only shown to me very strongly through the cocoa.

On Saturday night, the ayahuasca ceremony took place. About 20-30 minutes after taking it, I perceived my body and the lights around me differently. I saw myself as a small hurt and sad girl, like the night before. I felt all the sadness. Suddenly this little girl grew and became very big. I realised that I am much stronger than I think of myself and that I am not yet living my true strength. Then I saw my mother all sad and I sat opposite her, just as sad. I realised that she herself was so hurt and could not give me the love that a child should receive from a mother. Neither of us could get out of the situation. Suddenly I saw my partner come to me and hug me and show me what true love means. Throughout the ceremony I saw myself happy with my partner every now and then. It was beautiful to see him give me unconditional love. I knew at that moment he was the one for me.

Now a few days after the ceremony I am infinitely grateful that I was able to feel things. I have a great partner and no longer doubt if he is the one for me. I know now and feel an even deeper connection to him. I also no longer have anger towards my mother for not being able to give me what I needed from her as a child. I understand that she was so hurt herself and couldn’t help it. Logically, I already knew that before. It was only that night that I could feel it and that is so incredibly healing. I can now meet my mother much more compassionately and without resentment.

That night I suffered a lot physically. I didn’t throw up, but I did cleanse myself downwards. That night was one of the most intense experiences I have ever had. I suddenly understood many things. I saw pictures of familiar people and saw their fears and/or their loneliness. I can now understand these people better.

The team looked after us all super well and caught us when we needed help. They made us feel safe and accepted, which is wonderful.

I can only recommend this retreat to anyone who is ready to get a different perspective on themselves and the people close to them.

I sincerely thank all the people I had the opportunity to meet during this weekend. Thank you for sharing this experience together and for enriching each other so much!

Review of Anna’s experience (February 2022): “Aftermath and changes”

It’s been almost two weeks since my retreat. The morning after, in the sharing round, I said I hadn’t experienced anything at all, my mind had fought back so much that I couldn’t really get into it. Now I know that I was totally wrong. It was just that it was all so fresh that morning and I was so exhausted that I didn’t understand it at all. If I wanted to describe it now, I would say: ‘while my ego was busy fighting on side battlefields, the plant medicine in the background had free rein to unfold’. The first realisation I take away is that I was so much in my mind that I couldn’t be free and couldn’t let go. I know that about myself… But that night it became really painful and very clear to me. But then in the following days it felt (and still feels) like something new was unfolding inside me. “To rewire” describes what is happening most aptly. I observe with amazement and gratitude that something is changing in me. Little things, like not wanting to finish watching a film because it doesn’t feel ‘real’. Or for example (and this is powerful!), encounters with a person who has deeply hurt and wronged me, whose presence has always filled me with resentment in the past; there I could suddenly let go. We worked side by side for hours and I was completely in the moment and I didn’t dig inwardly at all into the past and rip open my old scars anew. That really amazed me! Oh, and the most outwardly visible change: I suddenly don’t enjoy smoking anymore. I really didn’t come with the intention of giving up smoking. On the contrary, I always found it sociable and pleasant. But somehow it no longer tastes good to me. Sometimes I light a cigarette out of habit, but after 3-4 puffs I put it out again. I think it will soon be time to admit to myself that I am a non-smoker. Thank you to the team for the lovely time and the mindful care, I felt very safe and secure with you. And I’m already looking forward to my next time.

Review of Lisa’s experience (January 2022): “My Experience with Ayahuasca”

I have been dealing with topics like spirituality and higher consciousness for quite some time. Through research, I came across the topic of ayahuasca. I found the idea of dealing with one’s inner centre very interesting, so I came across Ayahuasca in Sankt Augustin on the internet. By chance, I live in the immediate vicinity and was happy about the short distance to get there.

I prepared myself intensively for my upcoming meeting with Mother Ayahuasca. For this I meditated daily and changed my habits (only organic and unprocessed food in my daily routine). I admit that this challenged me a lot, especially at Christmas time (there was the smell of cake and biscuits and coffee all around me). However, I instinctively felt that this kind of renunciation and discipline would enrich me personally and spiritually.

1 Day Arrival : I was warmly welcomed by those present. Mary lovingly and attentively showed me the appropriate rooms and invited me for tea. In the evening I looked forward to the cocoa ceremony. I found the taste of the cocoa a little bitter. However, I enjoyed the ceremony – people around me, music, meditation. After the ceremony was over, I felt a kind of alertness, serenity and balance. Whenever I turned towards a person or was addressed, I had to smile gently. Now I understood better the word pronounced earlier by Christian (‘heart opening’). I practised this heart opening without having thought about it. It felt liberating and beautiful. In the evening I fell asleep relaxed. However, I noticed my excitement from time to time, especially in intensive conversations with other participants. I felt that something new was going to happen the next evening. I felt that this did not necessarily please my ego (false self). But this insight alone calmed me down and the joy of the experience grew.

Day 2 Ayahuasca Ceremony: Preparation: I enjoyed the beautiful walks in nature. I rejoiced in life. I thanked (whoever) for the beautiful spring weather for the beginning of January. I sat down by a small pond and just took notice (sun on my face, wind in my hair, birds chirping). In the afternoon there was a beautiful experience for me. We faced each other in pairs. Then we looked intensively into each other’s eyes for 1.5 minutes (including music). In my almost 40 years I had never had such a wonderful experience. I felt an intense connection that I could not explain rationally. I felt a superior transcendence between our souls. Perhaps I would say a kind of communication without talking. I enjoyed the idea that it didn’t matter who I looked into the eyes (gender, age, origin), but that it was all about this soul. That I am also just a soul. It doesn’t matter – there is no you and me at that moment. However, I felt that the physical person standing opposite me had manifested all his experiences in that gaze. This was not seeing in the actual sense, but a kind of sensing/feeling and perception. I will try to integrate this beautiful experience into my daily interaction with my fellow human beings.

The contact: In the evening I – and I think all the participants – were very excited.

After taking the ceremonial plant medicine, I went into myself and noticed after about 30 to 45 minutes that my hands and feet began to tingle. I also felt a pleasant subdued and pleasantly warm sensation of my body. I would describe it this way: that Mother Ayahuasca began to have performed a kind of scouting (checking; cleansing) from my head towards my belly, later also towards my feet. Suddenly the fabric of the blanket felt different. Somehow my fingers connected with the fabric of the blanket. I felt like a baby. Helpless and vulnerable in the universe . But each time I felt a mother who could not be put into words, who loved me more than anything. I perceived in my heart a love and unconditional acceptance I had never experienced before. At the same moment I cried warm tears over the whole process. I asked: why are there evil people when everything is so loving and divine? And immediately after crying I had to laugh. Not a normal laugh like an adult laughs, but a laugh from the heart (like a child). I felt an absolute, beautiful, intense feeling of oneness and had to cry again like a child (out of a kind of awe, regret, compassion). Now the mother kept stroking my face and making me feel that everything was right as it was. I had such a safe, relaxed feeling. Like a baby that has just been nourished, loved, protected and lovingly bedded by its mother. Infinite gratitude spread through my heart.

I felt the music so much in my heart that it cannot be expressed in words. I didn’t just hear the music – I was a part of it. I also felt extreme excitement again and again; something like when a toddler sees or perceives something he has never seen before in his life and wants to burst with excitement. I kept (not consciously) putting my left hand on my heart and my right hand on top. I felt this energy, this love in a kind of waves. A bird was chirping in the music that was playing. I perceived this chirping in my heart. The word chirping felt expressionless and meaningless at that moment; because this bird was communicating with my heart. You could say I was a part of this bird. I understood that we are all connected. Again, I was in awe and I had to cry. Immediately this infinite love came again and gave me the feeling that everything is good as it is (you are wonderful, you are something great). I cried again because I was so sorry in my heart that not all people (Now!) could receive and feel this beautiful feeling of oneness. Then love came again and I smiled as only an innocent child laughs. Again and again I had to nod my head after these realisations. I sighed and groaned with joy, connection, love. An infinite and profound gratitude manifested in my heart.

Visual: towards the end of the experience I opened my eyes. I was lying right next to the musician Seven (many thanks to the musical accompaniment!). I saw strange green dots/flashes of light. From the jukebox I saw a kind of distorted waves that moved forwards and backwards in time with the music, like the waves in the sea. I was amazed; however, I was aware at that moment that this must be the effect of the plant medicine.

Towards the end I perceived a light. I stretched out my hand towards this light. Birth, death came to my mind and I felt this was not elemental. I felt a connection between death and birth . A beautiful and haunting feeling.

Cleansing : during the whole process I had to yawn passionately again and again. Not a yawn like when you are tired, but a kind of “getting rid of something”. After yawning, I exhaled passionately. This was probably also part of the cleansing process. At the end, I threw up again violently, but immediately afterwards I had a liberating feeling.

I actually had a place to sleep in the basement, but decided in my heart that I would like to fall asleep next to the others. The next morning I was still in full process – dizziness and yawning, so I slept some more and skipped breakfast . Thanks again to Mary and Christian for their support.

Debriefing: 12PM I was able to go to the debriefing.

When Christian played the music (short meditation) it still touched my heart so much that I cried with joy. As everyone shared (experience), I felt unlimited empathy and had to cry now and then. I felt everyone’s feeling as if it had been my experience. Around 2 pm I was completely back in my real world.

I would like to thank all the participants, the friendly music team, Mary and Christian and especially Mother Aya for this unforgettable experience.

Review of Steffen’s experience (January 2022): “My experience of unconditional love and connection”

I have been dealing with topics like spirituality and higher consciousness for quite some time. Through research, I came across the topic of ayahuasca. I found the idea of dealing with one’s inner centre very interesting, so I came across Ayahuasca in Sankt Augustin on the internet. By chance, I live in the immediate vicinity and was happy about the short distance to get there.

I prepared myself intensively for my upcoming meeting with Mother Ayahuasca. For this I meditated daily and changed my habits (only organic and unprocessed food in my daily routine). I admit that this challenged me a lot, especially at Christmas time (there was the smell of cake and biscuits and coffee all around me). However, I instinctively felt that this kind of renunciation and discipline would enrich me personally and spiritually.

1 Day Arrival : I was warmly welcomed by those present. Mary lovingly and attentively showed me the appropriate rooms and invited me for tea. In the evening I looked forward to the cocoa ceremony. I found the taste of the cocoa a little bitter. However, I enjoyed the ceremony – people around me, music, meditation. After the ceremony was over, I felt a kind of alertness, serenity and balance. Whenever I turned towards a person or was addressed, I had to smile gently. Now I understood better the word pronounced earlier by Christian (‘heart opening’). I practised this heart opening without having thought about it. It felt liberating and beautiful. In the evening I fell asleep relaxed. However, I noticed my excitement from time to time, especially in intensive conversations with other participants. I felt that something new was going to happen the next evening. I felt that this did not necessarily please my ego (false self). But this insight alone calmed me down and the joy of the experience grew.

Day 2 Ayahuasca Ceremony: Preparation: I enjoyed the beautiful walks in nature. I rejoiced in life. I thanked (whoever) for the beautiful spring weather for the beginning of January. I sat down by a small pond and just took notice (sun on my face, wind in my hair, birds chirping). In the afternoon there was a beautiful experience for me. We faced each other in pairs. Then we looked intensively into each other’s eyes for 1.5 minutes (including music). In my almost 40 years I had never had such a wonderful experience. I felt an intense connection that I could not explain rationally. I felt a superior transcendence between our souls. Perhaps I would say a kind of communication without talking. I enjoyed the idea that it didn’t matter who I looked into the eyes (gender, age, origin), but that it was all about this soul. That I am also just a soul. It doesn’t matter – there is no you and me at that moment. However, I felt that the physical person standing opposite me had manifested all his experiences in that gaze. This was not seeing in the actual sense, but a kind of sensing/feeling and perception. I will try to integrate this beautiful experience into my daily interaction with my fellow human beings.

The contact: In the evening I – and I think all the participants – were very excited.

After taking the ceremonial plant medicine, I went into myself and noticed after about 30 to 45 minutes that my hands and feet began to tingle. I also felt a pleasant subdued and pleasantly warm sensation of my body. I would describe it this way: that Mother Ayahuasca began to have performed a kind of scouting (checking; cleansing) from my head towards my belly, later also towards my feet. Suddenly the fabric of the blanket felt different. Somehow my fingers connected with the fabric of the blanket. I felt like a baby. Helpless and vulnerable in the universe . But each time I felt a mother who could not be put into words, who loved me more than anything. I perceived in my heart a love and unconditional acceptance I had never experienced before. At the same moment I cried warm tears over the whole process. I asked: why are there evil people when everything is so loving and divine? And immediately after crying I had to laugh. Not a normal laugh like an adult laughs, but a laugh from the heart (like a child). I felt an absolute, beautiful, intense feeling of oneness and had to cry again like a child (out of a kind of awe, regret, compassion). Now the mother kept stroking my face and making me feel that everything was right as it was. I had such a safe, relaxed feeling. Like a baby that has just been nourished, loved, protected and lovingly bedded by its mother. Infinite gratitude spread through my heart.

I felt the music so much in my heart that it cannot be expressed in words. I didn’t just hear the music – I was a part of it. I also felt extreme excitement again and again; something like when a toddler sees or perceives something he has never seen before in his life and wants to burst with excitement. I kept (not consciously) putting my left hand on my heart and my right hand on top. I felt this energy, this love in a kind of waves. A bird was chirping in the music that was playing. I perceived this chirping in my heart. The word chirping felt expressionless and meaningless at that moment; because this bird was communicating with my heart. You could say I was a part of this bird. I understood that we are all connected. Again, I was in awe and I had to cry. Immediately this infinite love came again and gave me the feeling that everything is good as it is (you are wonderful, you are something great). I cried again because I was so sorry in my heart that not all people (Now!) could receive and feel this beautiful feeling of oneness. Then love came again and I smiled as only an innocent child laughs. Again and again I had to nod my head after these realisations. I sighed and groaned with joy, connection, love. An infinite and profound gratitude manifested in my heart.

Visual: towards the end of the experience I opened my eyes. I was lying right next to the musician Seven (many thanks to the musical accompaniment!). I saw strange green dots/flashes of light. From the jukebox I saw a kind of distorted waves that moved forwards and backwards in time with the music, like the waves in the sea. I was amazed; however, I was aware at that moment that this must be the effect of the plant medicine.

Towards the end I perceived a light. I stretched out my hand towards this light. Birth, death came to my mind and I felt this was not elemental. I felt a connection between death and birth . A beautiful and haunting feeling.

Cleansing : during the whole process I had to yawn passionately again and again. Not a yawn like when you are tired, but a kind of “getting rid of something”. After yawning, I exhaled passionately. This was probably also part of the cleansing process. At the end, I threw up again violently, but immediately afterwards I had a liberating feeling.

I actually had a place to sleep in the basement, but decided in my heart that I would like to fall asleep next to the others. The next morning I was still in full process – dizziness and yawning, so I slept some more and skipped breakfast . Thanks again to Mary and Christian for their support.

Debriefing: 12PM I was able to go to the debriefing.

When Christian played the music (short meditation) it still touched my heart so much that I cried with joy. As everyone shared (experience), I felt unlimited empathy and had to cry now and then. I felt everyone’s feeling as if it had been my experience. Around 2 pm I was completely back in my real world.

I would like to thank all the participants, the friendly music team, Mary and Christian and especially Mother Aya for this unforgettable experience.

Review of Brigitte´s experience (December 2021): “Miracles happen”

Well, coming home happy and energetically high vibrating after a retreat is not unusual. To stay in a wonderful vibration for weeks, very well. Today I am writing my little report about the retreat in November 21. Maybe I feel like writing something again after the Rauhnächten, because then I have days, nights and trigger points behind me, which often brought me to the limits. And if I am then still in the best condition, then…. yes then that is truly a miracle.

I came to the retreat because I felt called by the plant. The whole year 2021 I was already in very violent inner liberation processes. My body was also reacting violently with more and more intolerances. Many things were no longer to my liking, especially in the figurative sense of many an imposed stamp, many a role attribution, my reaction patterns, mechanisms… etc.. I wanted to come back to myself, wanted my childlike innocence back, had a memory of an inherent dignity and strength.

I wanted that back and I got it. I have been given much more than I consciously wished for. I am very very grateful for the whole process with tumbleweed. It started with the call, the application and is still going on. The plant is still there and I can call it. We are connected.

I especially thank Lorena and Mary. They supported me because I was experiencing a complete loss of control, needed physical support because nothing was working. No, it was not pleasant, but it was necessary and not bad. It is clear that I wanted childlike innocence, which I got, I let myself be cared for and was treated lovingly. I am deeply touched, still am. I could write a novel about my experiences with Aya. What is important is perhaps what remains. What remains is the deep peace within me. I did not know him. Unbelievable. With me a button is pressed – reset. All the pain, disappointment, hope, anger, rebellion…is gone. I feel neutral, not dull or indifferent, just neutral with myself. The old programs are no longer running.  My physical symptoms are gone, confirming my suspicion they were process related. I am always grateful, to the plant, to the Ayateam, to Joel’s music and also to the group. We have all woven a loving, appreciative field that still embraces me. The relationship with tumbleweed flows spiritually into my shamanic work and I suspect I will definitely come back to the retreat again.
Thank you to all .

Review by Paul (December 2021): “Different than expected and yet exceeded all expectations”

Different than expected and yet exceeded all expectations

This experience was a Copernican turning point for me.

By that I don’t just mean the weekend, but the whole time leading up to it, which prepared me for it.

I was generally quite a materialistic cynical person in many ways. Quite educated and had the name Wikipedia gone quite quickly in the group because I made my mark in groups about my knowledge. In general, I was a bit sceptical and, as so often in my life, felt an inner distance, but also an interest in the experience and some hope that it would make a difference.

I had previously dismissed the cocoa and music as spiritual accessories and joked that there must be a bunch of students with dreadlocks.

I’m quite an experienced psychonaut and have tried a few psychedelics, so I thought I had an idea.

Then everything turned out differently. I was already on a kind of hero’s journey in the lead-up, which started with the death of my mother at the end of 2020. I did a lot of drugs after that and lost myself in fear of the future and meaninglessness. After a particularly unhealthy relationship, I was standing there at the end of the summer and had completely lost my compass and had a huge black cloud over me; and despite meditation and exercise and all the things you’re supposed to do, it didn’t really get better.

I had been battling with this cloud ever since I signed up for the retreat and dragged all my trauma boxes and insecurities out into the open, which only helped to a limited extent, because I then identified with those very things.

So I arrived completely confused, insecure, sceptical and full of self-loathing.

I was welcomed with warmth and a hug. Got to know the others and started to recognise myself in them too. Very different people to me and from each other. And yes, someone with dreadlocks too. I resolved to be as open and consistent as I could this weekend, allowing it all in.

The cocoa ritual was very nice; it just relaxed me a lot and I slept like a rock.

The next day I had a lot of good conversation with others I might never have met in normal life.

There was then an exercise later in the day to look each other in the eye, and I was so full of self-loathing that I started crying by the first partner because I couldn’t look anyone in the eye. It was a difficult and beautiful moment especially because afterwards I immediately felt relieved and caught up by the other participants.

Then the ayahuasca started in the evening.

I had set myself up for a wild journey through all my negative emotions with lots of purging and pain and generally a heavy experience.

And then it was just nice – so yes: I also vomited once or twice, but it wasn’t that wild for me, nor was the taste by the way.

I also didn’t see very much except for some very clear visualisations with my eyes closed and … Flashes of light with the music, which I would now describe as the spirit of the ritual.

I just let go. I suddenly intuitively understood that I am a consciousness or soul that is part of a greater whole and that I am not my past, future, body, feelings or thoughts. I am the observer and the space in which this takes place.

The rest is hard to describe. Maybe loving attention or disconnected compassion to put it into words. And when I thought I had a soul and so did everyone else, my view of a whole lot of things changed.

My meditation has gotten years better because now I know the state I want to be in. I can let things go and stop myself from over-identifying with thoughts. I have a whole new understanding of spiritual ideas and religions that I used to deal with only academically.

It is not the solution to all problems – and although I would call it an enlightening experience, I also realise now that enlightenment is only the first step of a new journey.

I have a sense of closure of one chapter and the exciting beginning of a new one that plays by different rules.

I think if I had to describe in one word what this retreat can give it would be this: Rebirth.

Review by Marion (November 2021): “Cocoa and Ayahuasca Ceremony – a healing in the heart!”

I am a rather anxious, sensitive person. I have had no experience with substances in my life, hardly ever alcohol, no cigarettes, hardly any painkillers, etc. I was very worried about how I would tolerate this substance. Accordingly, I was very worried about how I would tolerate this substance. I would not necessarily describe myself as a spiritual person, but certainly as thoughtful and mindful of others and their needs/feelings.

My last 2-3 years were marked by illness in the family and I felt very exhausted and emotionally empty. The Corona period with its absolute isolation and no community at all had somehow finally knocked me over.

Especially the developments in 2021, where society is becoming more and more divided by the outside, makes me deeply sad. I had always felt pressure, worry, overwhelm and self-doubt rather than happiness and contentment before. There was always this underlying feeling of lack of closeness, too little love and my own lack of understanding why I am not grateful for all the many wonderful things in my life. I longed for relaxation and happiness.

I sought outside support and was able to find some answers and work through things in the last few years. However, I continued to feel trapped by the old patterns in everyday life. Then by chance (or not?) I became aware of Ayahuasca.

become aware of ayahuasca. A few weeks before, a friend had told me about a ceremony abroad. I listened intently, but a huge rational part of me would have liked to get up and leave immediately (not allowed in Germany, loss of control, etc.) But I am very happy and grateful that I am now more open and able to listen. It helped me that I had and still have great trust in this person.

At home, the subject somehow wouldn’t let me go. I looked on the internet and found out that there is another way. My everyday life doesn’t really allow me to organise a weekend for myself, but I asked my family and it was surprisingly unproblematic and so I simply signed up a few days later. In the meantime I realised that everything should be absolutely the same. I had been stuck in a kind of dead end and needed a change, answers to my inner questions.

What happened at the weekend is different from anything I had experienced before. A healing in much bigger steps. Catapulted into a new level. A healing in the heart. Far from healed, finished, satisfied, but definitely on my way as healing as nothing ever before. But I only see it that way in retrospect. You see things more clearly and with your heart.

The mind, which often gets lost in the same circular movements, moves into the background. On site, in the cocoa ceremony, I was able to make peace with a dark chapter of my youth and overcome a loss. It was a rather dark night, but healing. Still, I was irritated, as it is said that cocoa is calm and triggers gratitude. I was then correspondingly anxious before the next night with the plant. But I was determined to try it and face my fears. I would not get another opportunity so soon.

So I didn’t say that and just accepted the feeling. I accepted it, just as I accepted the confinement that I felt in the house all the time and that I found stifling.

But I felt that all this was meant to be for me and that I was already in the middle of the process. The following night was then very intense. I regretted for hours that I had come here. All I wanted was for it to finally stop. But actually only the physical experience was difficult. Inwardly, I saw bright, pleasant images full of love and happiness and wonderful nature journeys and the universe for hours. That surprised me. But I had already had my experiences the night before.

Still – physically it was a disaster, the images were too fast one after the other and I absolutely couldn’t enjoy them. I felt terribly dizzy and nauseous. The purging went on throughout the night and I felt infinitely weak until the next day even into the afternoon. But I received 1000% care. A huge thank you to Lorena, Mary, Christian and especially Joel! The experience with him brought me one step further and closer to myself.

I could write a lot more, but it is too difficult to capture in words anyway and probably hard for outsiders to understand. However, as I found other notes helpful myself, it was important for me to share my experiences as well Here are some more notes:

I can breathe more deeply since then. Not always, but often and it fills me with a deep joy every time. I now know what the term charity means and have actually felt it first hand through the wonderful group and the leadership.

Soul and physical care and closeness that I will never forget and still move me to tears when I write about it The eye to eye exercise in the garden was overwhelming, as was the music by Joel Eating so little all weekend was very unusual for me, but much easier than I thought The house has been too cramped for me at times, but through the wonderful community it was no problem for me I liked that there were fixed structures/schedules.

That was good for me. Great nature in the surrounding area. Now about 2 weeks later I am very much back in the daily routine, but it is still different than before. Better, more loving. And I can actually imagine that there will be a 2nd time.

Review by Alisa (November 2021): “Mama Ayahuasca called me – I answered – and magic has been happening ever since”

I had already had an Ayahuasca experience with the original recipe of the portion for 2×2 days before and I have to say in comparison to the retreat with the “Ayahuasca in Germany” team: I didn’t notice any difference, even though we had drunk the pure Syrian Rue.

The reason why I got the call was a loss in the close family that paralysed me for about 1 year: I had lost my intrinsic motivation for that time, I kept asking myself why I should do this and that, I hardly wanted to move my body and my goals had somehow become unimportant… until I got the impulse in my own Cacao Ceremony about 3 months ago to finally visit Mama Aya again. In my search I found the Christian & Mary team and wanted to give the recipe without added DMT a chance and see if the effect was comparable.

Even though the setting was different from what I was used to and you meet a larger group, it was all worth the experience. The additional exercises were interesting and we met more intensively afterwards, despite the short time we spent together. I was already very excited about the Aya ceremony, but was also allowed to write down and consolidate some important impulses during the Cacao night.

During my Aya night I was especially supported by Lorena (thank you for that, angel!) almost all the time, because I had an extremely hard process and Mama Aya showed me especially many different things and my purging was extremely exhausting (what came out of me was not food, but, as I say beautifully: fears, blockages, demons). The night was extremely hard, I was also one of only 2 participants who had come with a concrete and not very easy intention. I expected it to be no walk in the park.

After the Ceremony I had to recover for a week (I am self-employed online and fortunately can take the time), but then came the feeling of love, connectedness and also insights that I already knew before but didn’t FEEL. There was a difference between “knowing something” and “really understanding something” and especially on the subject of habits I realised how I had been lying to myself and I told myself I didn’t understand why results came and went: because I always stopped at some point with the good, new habits and the old thinking came back. It really wasn’t anything “new”, but only then did I understand that I was pretending not to understand why it came and went. I know that now and am actively changing my habits again because I am no longer in that victim role.

Also, as a result, the urge to clean out was greater again. And one of my guinea pigs died. I’m glad it went after the ceremony because I actually felt prepared and accompanied it into death (I sort of immediately put into practice my new skills in coping with loss), even though I used to like to run away from such situations when I was younger… the plant gave me my self-esteem that I had lost for 1 year when my family member died and I finally felt I can now pick up where I last left off.

Thank you to the Ayahuasca team in Germany for holding the space and thank you Mama Aya for the wonderful cleanse.

Review by Alina (November 2021): “The most challenging and beautiful thing I have done so far!”

I first encountered the plant ayahuasca in Brazil 2.5 years ago. At that time it fascinated me, but I didn’t dare. I was not ready! And then the opportunity came. I woke up one day this year and knew: “The plant is calling me. Ayahuasca knows I’m ready!” And so I booked the retreat. Without having read any testimonials, I set out and quickly realised that each participant of the retreat follows their own unique and individual path and therefore each experience with the plant is quite unique and special.

That is exactly what it was for me. It was special, indescribable, intense, challenging, difficult, liberating and above all beautiful. Today I go through life with much more ease and serenity, I meet myself and all my fellow human beings with more calmness and gentleness and love. I notice that I am on the path of forgiveness and it sets me free. From everything that no longer serves me and that simply no longer fits me! I feel more like myself.

I would love to recommend this experience to everyone, but ultimately everyone must and may decide for themselves whether they are ready for this transformation. Ayahuasca called me, but you also have to want to listen. Therefore, I can say for myself that ayahuasca came into my life at the perfect time. Each individual will know for themselves when and if the right time has come for them.

And the plant is calling me again. I know that this was not my last ceremony. There are still many more insights and experiences and liberations and shadows waiting for me. There is still much in me that needs to be seen and accepted. And Ayahuasca has opened my eyes and called me to discover myself. I still don’t know exactly who I am and why I am here after the first ceremony. But I am finding these answers within myself and Mama Aya is helping me to find these answers. Thank you thank you!!!

Review by Manuela (November 2021): “A milestone on the path of transformation”

Writing a review “about products” has always been easy for me, so the reader knows “good or bad”. a positive-negative list, done. It’s not that simple here. Who should come here, when, why? What does the addressee want to know?

Such a journey is always very subjective – so how is my assessment, experience to be understood? The retreat “triggered something in me”. Being there was an incredible sensory experience, an enrichment. I was able to feel my body, very strongly even perceive it. There was also so much happening in my mind, I felt my energy body when I resonated with other people or not – I felt other people’s blockages, I felt my own blockages (if you think of chakras/energy centres) – I was supported – when I went “deep” then finally a plant – but it was not just this one evening, I would like to emphasise that it is not like alcohol, it works as soon as you drink it – everything that took place on the retreat worked together in exactly the same sequence – so “everything did something to me”, ceremonial procedure, music, conversations, peace – and of course then also the ingestion of the brew.

The effect is very complex and is incredibly difficult to explain in mundane terms.

I had already come into contact with the issues that make up my innermost core (the questions of meaning, who am I, what can I do, what can I contribute to this world) before, for years I have been dealing with myself, as part of the whole (me as a professional, as a mother, as a volunteer, as part of society, as a democrat, as a free spirit, as a patient, as a healer, as a partner, as a sportswoman etc. etc.) and always the question of what is it that I can contribute to this world? etc.and always the question, what do I have to do so that I can help others, how can I change so that I myself feel better and others also feel joy…)

I came to the Ayahuasca retreat because there are “things” that “take place” so much in my subconscious that I had the impulse to “bring them out” – and I consciously did not want to discuss these topics in the “conventional system” (doctors, therapists, psychologists) because there everything is thought about with the head. We humans are more than just brain and bodily functions. That is my conviction and humans cannot explain everything, even if they would like to. Since I am also a head person, I thought, why don’t you switch it off and give in to “the feeling”, listen to “your inner self” and then see HOW it goes on, it always goes on…and that’s exactly how it was.

So what could make more sense than to use rites that were already used by people thousands of years ago. There was no conventional medicine back then

And so I went to the weekend with the impulse to “work through” my issues. As is well known, everyone has to “carry his or her own baggage”, in whatever form. Personally, I only hoped that the weekend would help me to confront my issues, or to see more clearly those issues that were already known to me, but nothing more.

Because it is clear to me that if I went to a conventional doctor, he wouldn’t be able to “make my ouch go away” straight away, or if I went to a psychotherapist, he wouldn’t necessarily prescribe me psychotropic drugs straight away and then my issues would disappear. Healing, “rediscovering lost soul parts”, becoming whole, transforming oneself, wanting to be a different person than one was yesterday, all this takes time and a lot of work is required. I knew that the retreat would probably not be able to do that, that I would go home on Sunday and yay, the ultimate human upgrade, like downloading software from the “next higher version”. We are human, not a machine. Everyone knows it…

That’s why I initially had “no expectations” of the retreat – especially as I first had to find a dosage of the Ayahuasca brew for myself that was compatible with my body, mind and soul. Everything works differently for each person. We are all unique. And so I embarked on the journey trying to be as open as possible to everything.

In short: the journey to the retreat was worthwhile for me in every respect and for me the journey did not “only” consist of the 3 days. The ceremonies, meditations, the meals together, time alone or with each other, the sharing at the end, the “pre/post care” and the own “post processing” (digesting, eliminating, internalising, solving etc.) days later, were very special for me, a great journey on the outside and on the inside.

During the Ayahuasca ceremony I had “only” physical effects, i.e. the cleansing of the body with the help of the plant took place for me mainly through excretion. Despite strong nausea and circulatory fluctuations, cold sweat, I could not vomit. The assumption is that my body was signalling to me, “I am here for you, help you to detoxify”, 2 years ago I had a serious emergency/bowel operation, I had a clinic trauma, pain, fears that I would remain incontinent at the age of 40. My body was “not reliable” at that time I was incredibly afraid of my own body because it did not “obey”. In the retreat I first had the fear again of whether my body would let me down again, to what extent I could rely on it, but after taking Ayahuasca I had no choice mentally, I had to “surrender”, had to entrust myself to the universe, as they say, and so I did this in the hope that everything had its meaning for me. I knew there were people there who would help me.

And so I can say: the care of the team was one of the most essential building blocks of the retreat for me. It’s about THE WHOLE – the plant is one thing and it is the most essential thing about the retreat. But everything around it is part of it.

In order to feel good all around, to be able to open up mentally, it requires the greatest possible sensitivity on the part of those involved. This attentiveness, I say it consciously, this “unconditional love” of the team, I could feel it! In my heart, in my soul, energetically. I can confirm this 300% – I can’t prove anything scientifically. But I don’t need to. The feeling of being loved, of having people around me who are interested in my healing, in my physical well-being, and who actively promote this, that is the meaning of life for me. THANK YOU for that!

There could not have been a better team for me from the beginning to the end of the journey. In my “hardest hours” a special “(protective) angel” was also there for me. I blindly relied on everyone and on myself. I was held and also held myself. This journey “gave” me an incredible amount of strength and self-love. Even now I shudder when I think back. I want to continue participating in cacao ceremonies and Ayahuasca will be a topic for me again. There is “no plan” here. When it is time, I will participate again.

Thank you to all team members! My heart is “replenished” – I am working on my issues, lovingly and patiently.

ps, out of carelessness/sloppiness I did not follow your diet recommendations to be careful with myself after the retreat. So I drank many cups of coffee and ate sweets again, these are old habits. I don’t do that any more. My body also gave me appropriate signals that it did not agree! 🙂

Review by Ines (October 2021): “The most blatant, courageous and intense thing I have done so far.”

Good morning, dear Christian,

I just had the impulse to write my report:

My experience report with ayahuasca – “the most blatant, courageous and intense thing I have done so far.”

My experience with ayahuasca started even before the actual retreat. Namely in the form that the plant called me.

I became aware of ayahuasca in June/July. I told my best friend about it and she said, yes, she knows it, the plant comes from Peru.

I felt that I wanted Ayahuasca this year and didn’t want to fly to Peru for it.

So, without knowing what it actually is and what it does to me, I googled whether it was also available in Germany. That’s how I found out about Christian’s retreat.

I didn’t find out, but looked up when it was taking place: 01.-03.10.2021, and immediately put it in my iPhone calendar without booking.

Then I forgot about it.

Then 3 weeks before the retreat I noticed that I had put it in my calendar.

Then I made a commitment to myself: “If there is still a place available 3 weeks before the retreat, then I will book it”.

No sooner said than done – I booked it…at that point I didn’t know what to expect either.

Until I told my other best friend about it, who then googled it and told me roughly what to expect.

I thought: “Yes, it’ll be fine, I was called by the plant. So I’m going to do it.”

We were then all put into a Telegram group so that we could get to know each other in advance (about 20 participants)…that was very good.

At the same time I took this as an opportunity to have a look at what to expect at the retreat and read through the schedule of the retreat…afterwards I just thought “Shit, what am I doing there?”…Ayahuasca in the middle of the night; so little to eat; oh dear and the testimonials…have I actually lost my mind to sign up there?!”…these were thoughts that came up for me. Anyway: I was called by the plant.

So I went there.

The arrival was inviting and you could already feel the special energy in the house.

It was clear to me from the start that if I did this, it would be a complete Social Detox. So I put my mobile phone in flight mode on arrival and only took it out of the locker again on Sunday afternoon shortly before departure; that was the BEST decision and I can only recommend it to everyone (beforehand, of course, inform all social contacts so that they don’t worry).

So then I was there and we were all supposed to say our intention, why we were here.

For me it was relatively short: “I was called and I want to go further, create more miracles in the lives of kids and teens and in my own life.”

(Note: I am a children’s and learning coach; where by “learning” I mean lifelong learning; beyond school).

Then was the cocoa ceremony; cocoa was delicious; ceremony I know nothing; I fell asleep. 😃

(Note: I stayed in the ceremony room and it was great; again, total comfort zone expansion because I and mattress camp; this used to be on children’s birthdays but not at 33 – but again, I highly recommend this to everyone; the mattresses and blankets and pillows are super comfortable).

Next day; preparation Ayahuasca…and from then on I was already getting nervous.

Especially as I then knew that the aim of the plant was for me to throw up. (I last threw up when I was a kid; not since because I find it gross to the max).

I thought, “Yes, I can manifest that I don’t throw up.”

At the same time, the plant only really has a deep effect apparently when you throw up..so somehow I wanted to take the deep cleanse with it….

Anyway, the situation on Saturday evening (right before the ceremony) was awkward: normally I don’t prepare myself for throwing up on Saturday evenings…and the conversations I have aren’t about that either 😃 well…at the same time the conversations with individuals helped me super..one of them said to me: “Let’s let our old life die now and give birth to ourselves anew, and you can do it.”

And then it came to me, “I had written down in June/July, “To live my new life, I have to let go of my old life.”” MAGIC

All right, I got involved in the process…I took 1 drink, 2 drinks…didn’t notice anything…then on the 3rd drink I noticed a bit…another took a 4th drink and that’s when I noticed in my body, no I don’t need that.

Then everything started to turn around (like in the past after a carnival party, when you’ve had a bit too much to drink). Then I got the impulse: “Your vibration is being raised and you are being realigned”…and somehow also that of other people…at least that’s what I felt…I thought: “Great, it works without throwing up.” Well, thought wrong….then it started…and it was awful. All I wanted to do was die. I felt weaker than I’ve ever felt in my life. And I can’t express in words HOW THANKFUL I am to Christian and the whole team for accompanying me through the process.

What helped me: “I came to stay. I have a purpose here on this planet. The energy of my friends who knew what I was doing and I felt that they were thinking of me. I was called by this plant. It’s a healing plant, which means it only shows me that and only takes me as far as I can take it.”

What was also crass was: one song in particular I liked “Cuatro Vientos” and a week after the retreat I realise I had that in my Spotify playlist and already knew it..so the plant does its work beforehand too. The rest of the music really annoyed me in parts…but that is also part of the process…finding the music unpleasant….

My actual process started relatively late in terms of time. Others threw up 20 minutes after the first drink. In my case, I was told on Sunday, it was 4 am.

According to this, I was super weak on Sunday. I was angry at myself because I thought, “When is this going to stop. Why did I even do this?!” and I was also scared that it wouldn’t stop at all….

That’s why I only noticed the sharing on the sidelines.

I had to go out several times…Christian’s words helped me a lot: “Ines, it was the same with me and now I’ve started a retreat with it.” Joel just said, “Ines, you are very strong, give your body time and trust.” I did that and at some point I just cried..and that was so cleansing and healing…not convulsive. The tears just flowed and it was wonderful…and I was held through it by wonderful people.

And so special thanks also go to: Two wonderful men who held me and carried me through the process (the night before, on Sunday and even still on the train).

And my 2 friends who I met here and who also carried and held me through the process and with whom I am still in almost daily exchange. 😊

I travelled there and back by train. I could not have driven on Sunday. If I had driven, I would have stayed an extra night (I was also asked this by Christian and the whole team). Then I realised that I had come to the right place – here, pre- and after-care are part of the programme…and even now we are in regular exchange…sometimes the plant doesn’t take effect until much later and months later there are still insights.

On Sunday evening I ate something for the first time in Stuttgart (before that I didn’t want to and couldn’t eat anything): butter pretzels, doughnuts and chocolate donuts. It felt good and I kept it inside me.

I thought to myself that if I felt like it, it would be good (it was like that when I was a child, too, when I was unwell).

My decision on Sunday evening: “Ok, I was brave, I let go, but as bad as I felt – NEVER AGAIN Ayahuasca! I hadn’t noticed any of the energy of the new birth.

To the one friend I said: “Ok, if that’s what it took for us to get to know each other (it felt like we’ve known each other forever), at least it had that meaning.”

I took Monday off and I can only recommend that to everyone, because the plant still has an effect there…and even days later…but here it is especially intense.

On Monday morning I still felt weak…and at the same time as safe, stable and open as never before. As if I had broken open a cage around me.

It was just MAGICAL and now 2 weeks after the retreat: IT IS INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL!

I feel better than I have ever felt in my life! I have more energy…everything is bubbling through me. I’m experiencing life more intensely…and to be honest: I was already doing really great before – but this is next level! 😊

I would never have thought it possible to feel such fulfilment and so much love for myself.

So all in all, it was the most crass, intense and crazy experience I’ve had. At the same time, I am grateful that this plant called me, because I met wonderful people and I probably catapulted myself as far forward as I might have done without the plant – but not as quickly and intensively.

Can I recommend ayahuasca to others?: Everyone must and may decide that for themselves. In my case, I couldn’t help but go there; ayahuasca was calling me. So I can say that ayahuasca came into my life at the perfect time with the perfect people.

Can I recommend the retreat: From the bottom of my heart – YES!

Would I do it again?: I can’t say yet because I feel the plant is still working or it made me work without it. Let’s see.

I would definitely be more open to it than on the Sunday after the retreat.

Review by Pun (August 2021): “In the last weekend of August 2021 I did the Ayahuasca retreat. It is an experience that I never forget.”

At the night of the ceremony, after drinking the 1st glass, there was no effect. But the taste was so similar to the Chinese medicine that I drank when I was a kid. After 1.5 hours, I had the 2nd glass. After the 2nd glass, I felt the body temperature was a bit higher, but still no effect. So I had the 3rd glass, and then everything came.

I kept vomiting heavily, and started to see all the repressed childhood memories. Some were very good memories, how I was loved and cared. Some were bad memories, shame, fear, abused by my mentally-illed mother (who killed herself in 2004). It seems to me that Ayahuasca has consciousness, she wanted to clean my soul and my body and wanted to take out all the pain (from my developmental trauma) as much as possible. I felt a lot of physical and emotional pain during the vomitting, she told me that I needed to go through all these processes. After some time, the last memories that surfaced up – I saw myself in the womb of my mother, I felt so much safe and secure there. At that moment I knew I was born to be loved, not born to be hatred. After 1-2 mintues staying there, I was taken to a spiritual dimension, where before I was conceived. I saw God there, I had a conservation with God, about why I come to this life and suffer so much. I was crying. For me the whole process was close to near death experience.

I also had strong visions. I heard the music of Björk was playing outside the ceremony room. At first I thought everybody heard it, but turned out it was only me. It is this music: “all is full of love”-

The effect on me was super strong, the ceremony started at 9pm, and I kept vomitting till 5am. I still could not walk stablely the next morning. While all the other participants “returned to normal” more or less after 2am. I think the effect is proportional to the degree of my trauma. I lost 1-2 kg overnight. I am also deeply grateful to the team members Mary and Leire, who were sitting next to me all the time taking care of me, so that I could survive through the whole experience.

After everything is finished, I feel more connection to unconditional love and more come to peace where I am. My chilhood overall actually was not extremely bad as I remember from now. I start asking less “why me?” but more focusing what can I do the best in my healing journey. I would like to this retreat again next year.

Review by Anja (September 2021): “One of the most beautiful weekends”.

I am still raving about the weekend, which was so fulfilling from start to finish. For me it was already great and special to meet so many loving and honest people. But the whole experience made it perfect. The house had a very good aura for me, it felt like coming home after a very short time.

The cocoa ceremony activated and opened my heart even more, and I also liked it very much. The first evening was very pleasant to “come down” and to ground myself. I was already a bit excited, but afterwards I was completely in my center.

The next evening was the Aya ceremony. It was really mystical, but I felt very safe and secure. If there were any questions or requests for help, Mary and Christian were there immediately. The really breathtaking music of Joel is almost more important than the plant, that was my impression. Again, you can feel exactly what he is doing and I felt well taken care of. I can only recommend it to anyone who still doubts. I found it very rewarding.

Personally, I didn’t have a vision or anything like that on that day, but so much changes after the weekend. Doors are opening, views and feelings are solidifying. I have the impression that I am standing more firmly in life now than before the ceremony.

I am very grateful to all (also to all participants), I can already say that it has changed my life. How nice that I was able to meet all of you :-*️

Review from Marco (August 2021): “The plant knows what you need”.

Let go of all expectations. It will be different than you think anyway, it will be deeper, bigger, more confrontational than you can imagine – if you could imagine it, you wouldn’t need the experience.

For me, it was more enlightening and lasting than I thought possible: the cocoa the first night made me fly, the ayahuasca the second night made me crash (in a good way, which I desperately needed). It was an experience that taught me humility and surrender, and it was exactly the experience I needed to understand what it means to let go of ego, to let go of all control, to surrender fully, and to love without resistance life as it really is – in constant flux and benevolently. The plant(s) showed me the faces of my fears that I don’t deal with enough, showed me my weaknesses (including control addiction, childish strong ego, lack of trust in people/the universe). So I think the plant gives everyone exactly the experience he/she needs right now.

However, the most important part of the weekend was the people, some you will have contact with for a long time. Meeting these people showed me that this spiritual path is worth walking, hardly else have I had such interesting conversations with so many different people in such a short time, learned so much about myself and being human. And I also realized that I don’t need to worry too much about which parts or people of my other everyday life I might have to let go.

Thank you Christian, Mary, Lorena, Joel.️

Review by Giorgo (August 2021): “Getting to my core”.

Like the virgin to the child, I came to the Ayahuasca Retreat. About a trauma documentary. General insight 2 minutes.

I didn’t know anything. Had no expectations. Only driven by my purpose in life, to free myself from all my limitations, belief patterns and imprints and to penetrate to the core of my being. And I can already say that this journey was worth it.

It was not a journey as I imagine when I hear the word “journey”. In my head were images of gentle meditation accompanied by angelic music and visual travel. But it was different! For me, it was anything but gentle. Connected with physical and mental pain that lasted for what felt like an eternity.

But in the end it was really worth it. This journey actually led me to my core. There I was able to experience some things physically and emotionally. This journey opened me up, softened me. Opened my heart. I cried a lot. Yes, I even cry afterwards in my everyday life. This experience was definitely worth it. If you want to go on a journey to your inner self, Ayahuasca is the right place for you.

And if you want a familiar environment for it, with people who care about you, then you are exactly right with Christian and Mary.

I wish you a deep journey and many insights as well.

Thank you Christian, thank you Mary, Lorena and Joel.

Review from Andrea (August 2021): “The ceremony was for me an insight into my deepest inner self”.

I don’t even know where to start….

I met so many dear souls and was able to be fully myself the whole weekend.

The Ayahuasca ceremony was a total confrontation with my own darkness for me. I was allowed to feel and allow feelings that I had always denied myself. Most of the time in my life I felt myself guilty and weak with regard to the situations in which my physical and emotional boundaries were crossed. I was allowed to learn in the ceremony that my inner child suffers so much not only because of the people who hurt and abused me. No, it is I myself who inflict so much suffering on my inner child. I myself commanded my inner child to keep swallowing down. During my journey, my inner child screamed at me and was so endlessly angry. I felt all the anger, at myself and others, that I had never allowed myself to feel. My inner child literally had to stop swallowing. I felt Joel’s presence the whole time. Having him with me during this journey was infinitely helpful. When I woke up later that night, I couldn’t help but cry. I was so proud of myself and so grateful to have felt these suppressed intense and heavy emotions. My inner child finally had a voice again.

I also think about the sharing the day after often. It was healing in every way.

Thank you <3️

Review by Isabelle (July 2021): “Letting go”.

I can hardly put my gratitude and happiness into words. There has been a transformation in me and then in my outside since the weekend that I would never have seen or expected. I love my (life) journey again, with all the ups and downs – and was able to find a balance between what my shadow took and what my light can give.

I am so grateful to you all. This feeling is so beautiful. More of it! More letting go, more happiness, cohesion, synchronicity, transformation, healing, forgiveness, relief and love!

Thank you and lots of hugs️

Testimonial from Vero (July 2021): “So much love and positive energy ❤️”

Before I started my journey here, I wanted to listen to my body and soul to see if I was also 100% ready for this new adventure. I received so many signs that I realized the timing was just right for this ceremony.

The days with the whole team and everyone else were indescribably beautiful. Already at the beginning one could feel such a strong, loving and positive energy that I was already very touched. Even after the whole experience with the plant, I feel that we are all so much more connected to each other and we are all one.

Also, right a few days after the ceremony, I received infinite signs from the universe that put me on the right path. So many great things have been happening since then! I don’t think an outsider would believe all the miracles that are happening to me. I am so infinitely grateful! Feel very much pressed all of you. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I would be very happy to see all the wonderful souls again one day. ☀️

Review from Erhan (June 2021): For me it was a transformation process.

The strain and tension of the complete week eased when I turned right into the cattle drift and saw the retreat house. It was my second arrival there. 5 weeks earlier I had entered the house with mixed feelings and left with even more mixed ones that Sunday. Now it was a pleasant, almost familiar feeling to walk through the door and see familiar faces. Even though I hadn’t seen or heard from Aneta, Christian, Mary, Joel, Hans us Patrick for 5 weeks, it filled my heart with warmth to see and hug them. I could perceive with all my senses that they felt the same.

Old habits

After putting the bags in the lockers, I “reserved” my mattress in the ceremony room. In the back on the left. Same as last time. For a few seconds I stopped in front of the mattress. Looked at it. Knowing the flow of the weekend from the retreat before, it was not just an ordinary mattress to me. It was a ship waiting for its captain to set sail into a vast, uncertain ocean. When you step on that ship and release the anchor, it will float you through a sea of emotions. I knew that. “On this ship you will feel, suffer, laugh, cry, descend to rise again and ascend to land full force on the bottom of the facts,” I thought to myself.

The meeting

In time, almost all the participants had arrived and there was time to chat with some in the garden. The weather cooperated throughout the weekend. The glow and warmth of the sun, in retrospect, reflected the entire weekend with all its participants.
Afterwards, everyone went indoors for the first joint mediation and get-to-know-you session. You could read the tension in many people’s faces. The thoughts that came up in me as I stood in front of my mattress, almost everyone had at that moment. “Setting out into an ocean with the uncertainty of what to expect.” I knew that. I saw that, and I felt that. The shared guided mediation was again very intense (The eye of the storm). In those minutes, neither time nor space existed. I was alone. No one was in the room. Only me. This was the first “coming down” after an exhausting week.
After the participants slowly opened their eyes and came to themselves, everyone radiated a pleasant relaxation. The organizers (I’m deliberately not mentioning a name, as I don’t know whose idea this was) placed this first meditation very well, as for me it is/was the basis of the whole weekend.

First impressions and inspirations

In the getting-to-know-you session, everyone told a few sentences about themselves. Who you are, where you come from, what is your intention for the weekend and what is your greatest joy in life. For me, getting-to-know-you rounds are generally very interesting. In this case, there were more than two dozen complete strangers sitting in a round and ready to open up. Each one is a book with such an individual story that doesn’t exist a second time, and this book opens up and reads a few lines, maybe a small paragraph from itself. You get a tiny little glimpse into someone else’s deep world. After the round was over, one thing became clear to me: nothing mattered here. No age, no gender, no skin color, no nationality, no language. There were no material bodies sitting together here. These were all souls on a quest. Each soul has its own path and each path raises its own questions.
In this meeting I received my first inspirations and lessons, some of which I want to and will integrate into my life. Thank you Gülay.

Cocoa ceremony

In the evening we gathered in the ceremony room, where everyone made themselves comfortable in their previously reserved seat. Joel had already set up his instruments and made them available. Hans (in luck) sat, like the last time also, to Joel’s right. It was an indescribable feeling then to watch him get into a state of flow in tune with the music. The music became Hans and Hans became the music. It was a sight I looked forward to seeing.

Aneta and Mary poured the cocoa and each participant was able to pick up their cup. The cocoa was ceremonially given and received in full gratitude to the plant. After a few moments of silence and introspection, we all drank the bitter, unusual tasting drink together. I knew the taste from the last time. Never before had I drunk pure, high-dose cocoa. The taste buds were accustomed to the version pumped full of industrial sugar, which, as Christian put it so nicely, is stretched with industrial milk. This taste was the taste of purity. A purity that I did not know in this form in my everyday life. I tried to give each sip of the drink my full attention and awareness. With each sip, I imagined how the bitter taste was transmitted to the brain via the sensory cells of the taste buds in the form of a signal, and how the brain decoded that signal and told me that there was something bitter dancing on the back of my tongue just now. It became philosophical. Who was I? Who was perceiving the taste? Could my soul taste? What was taste? What was the role of the mind that fed on my experiences? Did taste really exist? What is existence? What was the function of existence when it came to neurotransmitters triggering electrical impulses, causing nerve cells to tell the brain what something tasted like? Such thoughts and others circled through my head until Joel’s music picked me up. I call it music because I know no other word that could describe what this man conjures with his instruments. In Turkish, music = müzik. There is also the word ezgi. This means something like: a series of notes that is subject to certain rules and produces a pleasant sound in the ear. Then there is the word nağme = a beautiful and harmonious sound. All of this describes Joel’s music. Hans had a very interesting approach when he said, “First there is a feeling, a thought. This feeling creates a sound. Several sounds create a melody. The melody fades away, the emotion remains.” To this I say, “It wasn’t Joel’s music we were listening to. It was Joel’s soul that spoke to us”.

The preparation

The next morning I woke up around 9 a.m. I had slept for 5 hours straight. Uninterrupted. That was unusual. I felt good.
For breakfast, I had oatmeal. With enough cinnamon and various kinds of syrup, you can even get that down pretty well.
Well rested and well strengthened, I spent the free time in the garden in the best sunshine. Some made themselves comfortable on the sun loungers, others sat in a relaxed round with a cup of tea in the furnished seating areas and chatted, some meditated, others did yoga or just lay on the grass to let the warm sun rays penetrate the cells. Not everyone was in the garden. I suspected that some had gone to the nearby forest for a walk. I had done the same the last time. It was not possible to sit in the garden during the May retreat. It was wet and cool.

I sat with my face to the sun, had my legs stretched out, drank my yogi tea and was engrossed in profound lines by Eckhart Tolle. At some point Hans came up to me. With his kindly striking gaze, he looked at me and asked, “Why are you so energized?”
The conversation that followed this introduction was more profound than Tolle’s thoughts. Hans is someone you can open up to. A friend, a father, an uncle, a mentor. His way of listening, interpreting and evaluating things objectively is unique. He gave me the opportunity to look at things from a completely different perspective through this conversation. It made sense. It was so simple. I read many books, attended many seminars. This conversation enriched me more than all the books and seminars combined.  Hans radiates enormous calm and strength. His life experience is reflected in his eloquence and calm nature. He is a Dieter Lange type. It fills me with gratitude to have met such a person.

The Eye-Challenge

After a short meditation round in the garden, in which all participants formed a circle hand in hand, the Eye-Challenge started. This was an exercise in which participants had to look each other in the eyes for two minutes without interruption. 22 participants. Everyone against everyone. Over 40 minutes of eye contact. Tough stuff.
This challenge was already one of the highlights of the whole weekend at my first retreat. It was going to be the same this time.
In conversations, people look you in the eye. In psychology, one talks about insecurity when a person cannot look another person directly in the eye during a conversation and averts his or her gaze.
This was different. It was not a conversation, not a dialogue, not a “look me in the eye little one”. It was a cosmic connection of two souls. Not for nothing they say that the eyes are the mirror of the soul. Let’s face it. When do 2 people consciously look into each other’s eyes intensively for 2 minutes in everyday life.
The challenge was very difficult for some participants. Both in May and now there were some who had to break off.
I found this exercise to be very intense this time as well. As in May, I also saw myself in many eyes this time. In part, I saw my own features in the faces of others and realized how similar everyone was.
I don’t consider myself a sensitive person, but during this exercise I felt I could see into people’s souls. I felt power, love, insecurity, fear. Some had a tremendous vibration that showed clearly before my eyes.
Some had tears flowing. Mine too…as I looked into the eyes of my niece, who was 18 when she attended this retreat. We had spent so much time together. She grew up in my arms. We talked for hours about the most mundane yet profound topics: Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle, quantum entanglement, laws in the subatomic world, art, culture, music, family, friends, the infinite depths of the microcosm and macrocosm, the meaning and nonsense of life, and much more. But at that moment, looking into her eyes, I realized something. Something I had not been able to see in the last 18 years. Then I burst into tears. I don’t know the last time I cried like that.
I have to admit, after it was over, I felt flat and drained.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique).

After eating together, we gathered again in the ceremony room and Aneta showed us the principles of the tapping technique (EFT). I advise everyone to look into this subject. I had my first experience with EFT in 2016 with a coach from Wiesbaden. Even though it seemed like humbug to me at the beginning, I realized quite quickly the depth effect of this incredible method. In principle, it is about the fact that blockages can occur in the flow of life energy (Chi). This life energy flows through pathways called meridians. In TCM it is said that diseases, fears and negative beliefs are triggered by these blockages.
Aneta showed us with her unique calm way how to implement this technique.

Ayahuasca

After a two-hour rest period, the time had come. Everyone excitedly took their place on the ship… the mattress. The medicine, which had been cooked and prepared for most of the day, was bottled and sitting on the floor in front of Joel’s seat. After a brief introduction and answering a few questions, it was time for everyone to pick up their “portion.” You could feel the tension in the candlelit room. As with the cocoa, I was the first to get my medicine. There was no particular reason for this. We had merely started at the back left.

Everyone held his filled glass in his hand and inwardly spoke out for himself his gratitude to the Spirit of the plant, to God, to the Universe, to the ONE all-encompassing. I recited inwardly the Sura an-Nas from the Koran. An incredibly powerful sura that is about praying for protection: Protection from the Jinn (negative frequencies), protection from people, protection from your own ego. It was very quiet in the ceremony room. Christian gave the go and everyone drank the medicine. Some sipped it, others drank it in one gulp. It tasted bitter. But that didn’t matter. The point was not for the taste receptors to tango, but for the soul. After that, everyone took the most comfortable position for themselves. Lying down, sitting cross-legged, legs outstretched or hiding under the covers.

Joel began to play. He produced a wide variety of tones, sounds and frequencies on a wide variety of instruments. At times I felt as if the frequencies were piercing me, penetrating me, joining me inside and tearing me apart at the same time. Throughout the night he had the tempo so much under control that I was sure that this man knew exactly when to use which sounds, which music, which instrument in which intensity. A highlight this time was also the sound of the sea. It was very intense.

After some time, the first participants could be heard beginning to vomit into the buckets that had been set up earlier. Their process had begun.
The first hour I tried to turn off my mind and surrender only to the Spirit and the music. Turning off the mind…, don’t make me laugh. I was not that far yet. There is a saying in Turkish. It’s used when your head is constantly in thought. They say that there are 40 foxes buzzing around in that head, their tails not touching. But one thing I had managed to do, unlike the previous session, was to be free of expectations.

At the retreat in May, nausea also overcame me after some time. There was something inside me that desperately wanted to get out. I fought it for a long time at that time. That prevented me from really getting into the process. At some point, it didn’t work anymore. However, my ego was too proud to throw up in front of everyone. So, on shaky legs, I went to the bathroom. There the cleansing was accomplished. This time I was determined not to hold it back. I was ready to accept it. After about an hour, I noticed that my stomach was turning. Almost at the same time, Christian called for the second round. For those who wanted to. I went for my second glass. Last time I had drunk 2 and 3/4 glasses. This time I barely managed to drink 1/4 from the second glass. It was no longer going down. It just wouldn’t go down. It was ok for me. It was meant to be. I accepted it. A short time later, I could no longer hold back the nausea. Again, my ego was too strong and whispered to me that I couldn’t throw up in front of all those people. So I staggered to the bathroom again. It took me quite a long time to get back to the ceremony room and finally attend to my process.

It started with me being in the weightlessness of the universe. It was not falling. Because falling means to fall from the actual perspective into the depth. In the universe there is no below and no above. Therefore I would call it “gliding through the stars”.
Suddenly I saw faces. Hundreds, maybe thousands. None of the faces I knew. Some I looked at from the objective perspective, some were immediately with me but looked away, some looked at me. One face merged into another and literally transformed in my mind’s eye. Then I saw myself. I looked myself in the face. Into my present one, then my youthful one, then again the present one.

Some acquaintances had told me about their ayahuasca experiences. I could never understand what they meant by “seeing” or “seen”. Was it like in a lucid dream? Some things cannot be explained. Some things you have to live. Can you describe the feeling of hunger to a person who has never starved in his life? The listener will at most answer that he can imagine it. But in order to understand and feel hunger, one must starve. It was the same with “seeing”. I am now able to understand what “seeing” means. I have experienced it myself. I have seen it myself. And I am not able to describe it to someone who has not seen it himself.
The next thing I knew, a koala appeared on the horizon. This is what I found about the koala after the fact:
“The frequently sleeping koala points us to take a rest and draw new strength from stillness. The power animal koala teaches us deceleration, serenity and tranquility.
The koala wants to bring calmness into your life.
“Relax.”
“Rest.”
“Don’t let others or yourself upset you.”
The koala also tells you that some things can take care of themselves while you sleep. Too many thoughts and too many actions – or perfectionism – often don’t make things better.
Come down – or in this case: climb up to the koala – and make time for things that are good for YOU.
Do them consciously. Be fully present. Pay attention to your senses. Do one thing at a time: “One thing at a time”.
Keep focusing on what you hear and what you smell. Engage with your senses.”
Interestingly, Hans spent the afternoon in the garden telling me exactly these things. There was no mention of a koala there, though. This is the power of the plant. I was overwhelmed.

At some point I opened my eyes briefly, looked to my niece’s left. She was not there. A few minutes passed. She did not come. I was worried and couldn’t get back into my process. I went to check on her. In the hallway I met Mary and Aneta. They told me that my niece was downstairs in the bathroom and didn’t want anyone with her. I went to see her. She was going through her cleaning. She was exhausted. At that moment, I came to abruptly. My wobbly legs suddenly felt like solid pillars. One thing became clear to me: “Your process is over for today”.
I spent the next few hours with her. For a while, Gülay was there to support me. I felt for my niece and at the same time was so proud of her that she, at the age of 18, had summoned up the courage to take this path. I was with her until 4 in the morning to take her to the bathroom and get her water. I was glad that she eventually fell asleep. I was floored. I couldn’t keep my eyes open.

Goodbye

Compared to last time, I felt very vital and alive the next morning. After the last breakfast together, everyone met again in the ceremonial room for sharing. I felt the sharing of each participant was very individual. No two experiences were the same. For some, you could hear the disappointment because they had not “seen” anything. Others found questions about answers that they had carried in themselves for years. Still others had many and profound visions.

Ayahuasca gives you exactly what you need in the present phase of your life and in this moment. If you surrender, so be it. If you see nothing, so be it. Ayahuasca is not a household initiative. It is not something you “take once” in hopes of reaching enlightenment. It’s not something you try once out of curiosity to have a say. Everything is a process. Once you start on the path of transformation, it is a medicine that will answer your questions at a certain stage. The answers are not served to you on a golden plate. The plant speaks to you in images, metaphors and synchronicities. The interpretation is intuitive. At some point you understand what the plant wants to tell you or why it does not speak to you. Whereby in my opinion it is wrong to think that it does not speak to you. Because even in the communication between two people, you usually get the most important answers when your counterpart is simply silent. As the saying goes, “silence is golden”. You have to be prepared. You have to be mentally and spiritually prepared and ready. A seed that is sown takes time to grow. You can’t add more water or pull on the first bud to speed up the growth process. It will grow and flourish in the time it takes to bring the flower to its full potential.

What did I take away from this weekend?

– The plant once again brought together exactly the people who needed to come together

– Don’t fixate on just one moment (drinking the medicine), but consciously pay attention to the before and after. Who do you meet, what do you feel, what conversations take place, what signs do you recognize?

– Don’t look forward too much to a moment in the hope of experiencing a certain thing. The moment will come and you will experience and learn something completely different than what you imagined. I am sure that I was not there for myself that weekend. I needed to be there for someone else to begin their journey.

– Live in the here and now. Because everything has its purpose in the here and now. Don’t be tempted by your ego. Your ego needs the past and the future to exist. But the future is only a projection of your mind and the time between now and the future wants to be filled. Filled with hopes, fears, concerns and imaginations.

– Notice yourself and find your inner center.

– The path of spirituality is to minimize the power and influence of your ego. I used to think you had to “kill” your ego. Now I think differently. I compare it to an airplane that needs two wings to fly. Recognize the pitfalls and cunning of your ego. Recognize it in order to control it. Because you need your ego and your being to stay on course.

– Be careful that in trying to control your (material) ego, you don’t fall into the trap of building a spiritual ego.

I feel tremendous gratitude to everyone I had the opportunity to meet during this magical weekend and am sure that our paths will cross someday, somewhere.

Many thanks to,

Christian, who brought this session to life
Aneta, the invisible hand
Mary, for your loving nature
Joel, who spoke to us with his soul
and to every single person who was part of this retreat. I was able to learn something from each one.

Field report from Ayla (June 2021): The team is simply magical!

After having participated twice in this wonderful, educational and enriching retreat, I would like to share my experiences with you here.
share my experiences with you.

The team that accompanies you on a weekend is simply magical – I immediately felt like I belonged, was accepted and felt like a member of the family,
alone with these dear souls I can recommend the experience to everyone to dive into this world.

Here again heartfelt thanks to you dear Ayahuasca team Germany ❤️.

For the location and the catering, however, there is not a whole 5 stars, but is of course my very personal and physical experience, for me it was in the
Retreat room too cramped and too dark I would have liked more space and light / candles and since I react to lenses, I have the second time with
Lunch myself, one always learns.

An experience after Aya includes, a great forgiveness process that lasted over two weeks. I can hardly describe it, every night I dream about
I dream of events and people that I have not thought about for decades and of the experiences I knew “nothing more”. Every morning I am
flashed and shocked to wake up what was/is still in me and every time I was a bit freer and healed. Likewise, my body told me
that we are not really in balance, I started again with sports, now consciously pay attention to my dopamine level and my grounding.
It’s heavenly how just a few little things can make life feel even more grandiose. And after all I have already tried on my way, I can only say that without
I can only say that without Aya I would not have made it so quickly, I personally can say that each time I was given years of development.

For many seekers of healing, enlightenment – this is a really easy and fast way to get there. Before I
I read many reports of this kind and I must confess that I could hardly believe it and I am so deeply grateful that I was able to have this experience.
this experience. And the wonderful team that made this possible in such a warm family atmosphere.

Here still a huge thanks to Joel, his music has touched me sooo deep in the heart. 🙏

Wish you equally wonderful inspirations and releases.

Feel loved.
Ayla ☀️❤️

Review by Patrick (June 2021): Always wonderful and full of miracles

Actually, I could write here about my experiences for days and write a novel about what a weekend does to you when you go on a retreat with Christian, Mary, Aneta and Joél.

But to keep it “short”, I’ll just write a few things. One gets a very warm and friendly welcome – not only from the team, but also from the other guests and healing seekers.

The cocoa ceremony is always very intense for me. I would never have believed that one can have small visions even here. But it is very heart-opening and calming with the wonderful music of Joél (who is not comparable with anything of this world if you give him an instrument).
In the meantime I have been there three times and each time it is a wonderful experience that wraps me in humility, gratitude and deep connection when you go through an Ayahuasca ceremony with great people. My visions were very profound, purposeful and I can say that I am a completely different person after the first retreat, as this experience was the most intense, which kept me very busy for days afterwards and still does. In fact, a lot has happened in my life since then without me really actively doing anything about it. An effect that lasts even longer and finds its way into everyday life, I would never have expected let alone thought possible. It is very fascinating what knots have been untied in my life.

During my second visit I could not really tune into the weekend myself due to private circumstances – the visions nevertheless did not fail to appear. But I loved the gratitude that was shown to me for experiences that other people had that I was able to help properly engage and tune into.
My third visit was 2 days ago now.

I had very clear visions, very clear messages, again a very intense weekend. Now the work starts and I have to implement it and integrate it into my personality to become a better person. Because that’s what it’s all about – developing yourself, healing yourself and being able to let go of old burdens to make room for new, beautiful things.
For me it started with a lot of surrendering, “spitting out” old experiences, being able to let go and be done with them, followed by clear and distinct visions.

Since my first retreat, my life has become calmer, I am more relaxed, and can see negative things from the past differently and thus evaluate them differently.

So for anyone who wants spiritual healing for themselves and perhaps to break old negative behavior patterns, I can only recommend to visit Christian and his great team and experience a weekend. It really is an experience and not something you “do once”.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has made it this far to read – thank you!

And I thank you for all the wonderful people I had the chance to meet on my retreats. Great friendships have been formed here that I wouldn’t want to miss.

Best regards,
Patrick

Review by Christian (May 2021): I was immediately impressed by the open and warm manner of Christian and his team.

My whole body and mind was already preparing for the weekend in advance.

When it finally started on Friday, I was directly thrilled by the open and warm nature of Christian and his team. There was delicious vegan food and you could connect beautifully with the people from the group through meditation, sharing intensions and the group games. A great energy surrounded us and transformed the whole retreat into a magical place for spiritual and physical healing and development. It felt great to be surrounded by like-minded people.

The cacao ceremony on Friday night was very special to me. Never had I believed that cacao could have such a heart opening and spiritual effect.

Joel, the sound healer, together with Christian and his team created a great atmosphere and relaxation. Ayahuasca showed me that I am allowed to accept and embrace my inner demons. Childhood traumas that have unconsciously influenced my life may now be seen from a different perspective and also be accepted. I feel how little by little more and more balance and inner equilibrium prevail and how I am also allowed to build a deeper connection to myself and thus to other people with the help of the plant.

The exchange of experiences on Sunday was very exciting, as everyone spoke from their own perspective and presented their experiences. It was unbelievable how much power lies dormant in all of us and wants to be awakened.

I myself will be there again at the next appointment and dive deeper 🙂

I can wholeheartedly recommend the Ayahuasca Retreat to anyone who wants to connect with themselves more deeply and live more consciously.

Thank you to the whole Ayahuasca-in-Germany team.

Review from Tina (May 2021): The effect was powerful and gentle at the same time

Review from Christina (Mai 2021): I am looking forward to seeing one or the other participant again!

I was lucky enough to be part of a good group with a beautiful
warm energy. We all immediately understood each other and felt comfortable.
I think the youngest participant was 20 and the oldest over 70 – but I didn’t ask. It was nice to go into an exchange with like-minded people
(we meditated together and exchanged music etc.).
The response to the individual exercises and ceremonies varied from person to person. I liked the exercises in the garden, the music and the exchange with the participants best. I remember that on Sunday morning I was
a little disappointed, because I had imagined an enlightenment with dazzling colours
colours like on TV, but in the end I was just very tired and unfortunately had to throw up a lot. But in the morning when I meditated, I had the great
aha effect, a calmness, stillness and serenity. The effect is also rather subtle
and over a longer period of time. Afterwards I was able to free myself from a very
toxic parental home. (where I lacked the courage to do so all these years, because
I was afraid to be completely alone). The experience with the group taught me
that we are reflected in each other, that many people carry incredible burdens and that we can find healing in ourselves and in sharing
with others. I look forward to seeing one or two participants again.
And the most important: the plant has its own plan with you.

Review by Christian (May 2021): I was immediately impressed by the open and warm manner of Christian and his team.

My whole body and mind was already preparing for the weekend in advance.

When it finally started on Friday, I was directly thrilled by the open and warm nature of Christian and his team. There was delicious vegan food and you could connect beautifully with the people from the group through meditation, sharing intensions and the group games. A great energy surrounded us and transformed the whole retreat into a magical place for spiritual and physical healing and development. It felt great to be surrounded by like-minded people.

The cacao ceremony on Friday night was very special to me. Never had I believed that cacao could have such a heart opening and spiritual effect.

Joel, the sound healer, together with Christian and his team created a great atmosphere and relaxation. Ayahuasca showed me that I am allowed to accept and embrace my inner demons. Childhood traumas that have unconsciously influenced my life may now be seen from a different perspective and also be accepted. I feel how little by little more and more balance and inner equilibrium prevail and how I am also allowed to build a deeper connection to myself and thus to other people with the help of the plant.

The exchange of experiences on Sunday was very exciting, as everyone spoke from their own perspective and presented their experiences. It was unbelievable how much power lies dormant in all of us and wants to be awakened.

I myself will be there again at the next appointment and dive deeper 🙂

I can wholeheartedly recommend the Ayahuasca Retreat to anyone who wants to connect with themselves more deeply and live more consciously.

Thank you to the whole Ayahuasca-in-Germany team.

Review from Tina (May 2021): I was wonderfully received and accompanied in the ceremony with a lot of heart!

Hello dear Ayahuasca Germany Team,

I am super grateful that I was allowed to make my first Ayahuasca experience with you.

To be honest, I was very afraid of it and thought long and hard if it was really the right thing for me. I not only had a strong emotional healing, but was also wonderfully received by you and accompanied into the ceremony with a lot of heart. The team, the group and the environment were wonderful and very healing. That’s why I decided to go directly for the second ceremony. To work deeper and more intensively with my personal issues. I would recommend it to anyone who wants to grow personally, dissolve their traumas and old stopping beliefs.

Looking forward to seeing you again soon.

LG Tina

Review from Tina (May 2021): The effect was powerful and gentle at the same time.

The retreat with Ayahuasca-in-Germany was a wonderful experience. On Friday evening it started with a round of introductions and a plate of tasty soup. Everyone was a little nervous. Then we went to the ceremony room where the cacao ceremony started. At first I found it difficult to relax and listen to Joel’s shamanic music. But as time went by, I noticed that I started to cry. I was surprised about that, because I didn’t think that cocoa and music would have such a strong effect on me. The sounds took me on a special journey. After the ceremony, I felt deep peace and happiness. I knew that some kind of healing had taken place within me.

On Saturday morning, I noticed that my tension from Friday night had completely disappeared. After breakfast, I went for a walk in the forest with some others from the group. I enjoyed being in nature.

Just before sunset, I prepared my mind for the ayahuasca ceremony to begin. The ceremony began with a deep meditation. After we had our ayahuasca tea, Joel started to play his music. I completely got rid of my nervousness. I felt total trust in the Ayahuasca team and enjoyed the pleasant atmosphere with the other participants. This time it was easy for me to immerse myself in the music and let it take me away. The effect of the sacred steppe rue was powerful and gentle at the same time. When I got back to my room after the ceremony, I wrote down a few key words that came to mind after my experience with ayahuasca. This helped me to grasp the message of the medicinal plant. Everything was about self-confidence.

After breakfast on Sunday morning, it was time to share our experiences with ayahuasca as a group. I especially liked this last part of the retreat. As everyone shared their stories, the sense of community was strengthened. After I spoke of my experience, I felt a strong sense of transformation come over me. I still feel this transformation many weeks later. That is why I am so grateful to the Ayahuasca-in-Germany team for this opportunity to heal.

Review from Martin (March 2021): I’m looking forward to the new life

Hey friends, a lot has happened since the weekend.

I feel much freer in general and the blocks I wanted to remove are gone.

I regularly get up between 03:00 and 4:00 and celebrate my life.

It is wonderful that I now go through my day with such clarity, it feels like I am flowing.

It is exactly how I imagined it; and everything I saw during the ceremony is now coming into my life.

It’s fantastic, thank you to everyone for this unique experience, because I got to experience at least as much from each of you in terms of impressions ❤️

I am looking forward to the new life!

D A N K E

Review from Norbert (February 2021): I will be happy to come again!

My experience with Ayahuasca in Germany was a very positive one. From the beginning, the first contact was uncomplicated and pleasant. It all started with off with really friendly and uncomplicated email and phoning contact. I was especially pleased with how spontaneously I was able to participate. As for the journey, we were kindly picked up from the train station and even got a lift back at the end of the retreat. Upon entering the house, I felt an immediate and harmonious atmosphere – and during the introductions, everyone managed to open up about a lot about themselves, without putting up a façade. This created a lot of trust between the group from the very start, and I sensed that I had met a good group. I got a very nice, friendly and attentive impression from the team from the get-go.

The first evening alone was an experience, with the cocoa ceremony, especially with the combination of singing bowls therapy and Joel’s “sea of sound”. The whole thing was so relaxing, it completely took me away from my day-to-day life. I experienced a rarely felt sense of calmness.

The actual Ayahuasca ceremony took place on the second day. In preparation we did yoga, which relaxed the body and mind, followed by a long meditation. Then in the evening we drank the plant medicine and set out on our journey. Since this part is very personal and a highly individual experience, all I will say is you have to simply soak it up and live in the experience. Throughout the night, we were guided, once again, by a very intensive “sea of sound”. The music was pleasantly perceptible and it made the silences in between feel very “loud”. What an experience.

The following morning, we shared our experiences with each other and once again it was lovely how openly everyone described theirs. All in all, I must say, it was an outstanding team, a great group and an intensive experience. I will happily be coming back when the plant calls me. A big thank you to everyone involved!

Experience from Aneta (October 2020): Experience a strong energy with wonderful people

Tanja’s experience with ayahuasca as a sensitive person (January 2021)

Review from Anna (October 2020): My experience was something very special

Lorena and her unique experience with Ayahuasca in Germany (October 2020)

Daniel’s experience with ayahuasca (October 2020): “I was totally impressed!”

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